I believe the young gentleman is fluent in yoof

---

Hmm, clap between movements... any other symptoms Kitty?

Just don't forget to applaud in the interim between marriages.  What I meant by 'emergent decisionesque phenomenon' was 'agreement' I think...funny how one can miss the obvious terms sometimes affir...blahwhatamIdoingupthislate, I hear you (me?) cry?  I am correcting assignments.  Oh yes!  And I reached a particularly NASTY batch that simply can't be flicked through; I risk either running faaaaar through lightly through them missing numerous errors on the part of my wards, or else...death from kernel-calculation-induced asphyxia.  Hmmm: decisions decisions!

(they need be on someone's desk by 8am tomorrow.  I've put it off for ages.  But will be done!)

Dear r3ok.myforum (you rotter!)

NO...no...no!

There is not, and never has been any on my PC! And even if there were - mind your own damned business and stop asking and prying into my affairs!

I'm fed up with seeing this in my face just because I want to read about One Voice Per Part in Bach's choral music!

GO AWAY!

You might need to click on the little pink 'hat' on the bottom edge of the map, below "Hemel Hempstead".

From the top of the page.... Form an orderly queue now ladies ..............

A

A curious conversation that I didn't have the other day, when I wasn't approached by an M&S sultana as I sat in a bus shelter;

Sultana: Hello!

Me: Hello!

S: Glorious morning, isn't it?

M: It certainly is.

Silence

S: I was wondering..

M: Yes?

S: Oh no, it's nothing really, I mean I wouldn't want to bother you.

M: I see.

S: It's so ridiculous really, I don't know why I even bother thinking about it...

M: ...

S: I do apologise, my name is Pete, by the way.

M: Hello, Pete.

S: Yes, it's a curious thing how one can speculate one's life away isn't it? Yet I am curious as to what a man like yourself might say when confronted with the question I pose to myself on an almost daily basis. Yes, yes, I know I am just setting myself up for disappointment by constantly wondering in this way, but I just can't seem to stop myself somehow.

M: It sounds difficult.

S: Ah, such sympathy, and from such a fine gentleman! It goes some way to steadying the helm, I can tell you. Very well, I see I am in the presence of someone who would not lightly at least, throw any candid exposition of my really very ludicrous, but consuming queries back in my face. So then, if I might ask you directly, do you think there is any chance that I, a sultana, might ever feature as one of the members of a New Musical Connections quartet?

M: Well Pete. No. I don't think so.
 
S: Ah! It is just as I thought. And more fool me for letting the thought hang round for so long before exposing it to the full glare of a rational mind. I am very grateful for your directness and your honesty. I will bid you then a speedy journey to your destination. Meeting you was a pleasure and a much-needed education, it gives me new belief in the kindness of strangers. So many I meet descend to a base level of humour saying things such as, 'I hope you find your raisin d'etre', and other such tawdry mumblings, and I appreciate that you abstained from such cheapness, your nobility is evident. In fact as a sign of my gratitude I will gladly grant you one valedictory cheap-shot as a way of rounding off our conversation.

M: Thankyou.You're very sweet.

It's the time of year when we use our heating systems the most and therefore the time when the threat of carbon monoxide poisoning is at its greatest so to help you avoid dangers we've enclosed our 'Safe and Warm' leaflet with this bill.