Well, it's sunny here in Brighton - but not for long, according to the forecast ....

LOL!  My grammar wasn't very good in that case! 

George, the python was actually called Monty - for obvious reasons.

It belonged to a female stripper who worked in Blackpool who tenanted one of my flats for a while.  She intended to use the snake in her act apparently.  (I didn't ask her how and I don't want to know now!)  I met her when I went to check up on some repairs and she met me at the door in tears.  When I asked her what was wrong, she told me "my pet isn't eating and it's going to starve".  I asked her about taking it to the vet - because I thought it was going to be a dog or cat or something normal - and she said she couldn't afford it.  I then recommended the PDSA but she said she didn't think they'd know what to do.  Then she asked if I'd have a look at it.  I said yes but didn't know what on earth she thought I might be able to do.  She took me into the bathroom where there was nothing unusual except a big Ali Baba laundry basket.  After looking round in vain I asked where the animal was and she pointed to the basket.  I nearly b****dy died when I took the lid off!

I pointed out to her that it should have live food anyway but she said she "just couldn't".  She had put a strip of steak in the basket with it.  I told her to get some string, which she did. and I tied it on the steak and batted it around trying to make it look as if it were alive.  Obviously that failed miserably, which was when I hit on the idea of going to the pet shop and buying a mouse.  Out we went and I picked one out and took it back.  I put it in the basket with the snake but I was absolutely in bits and so was my friend.  That's why we went out to the cinema.  We came back eventually and I gingerly lifted the lid to find both snake and mouse sitting quite contentedly gazing up at me.  I rescued the mouse and suggested she ask the zoo for advice, which she did.

All this just goes to show that exotic reptiles should not be sold to people who haven't the faintest idea how to care for them.  I don't know where she got it from, nor to whom she sold it.  I was quite relieved when she decided to move to Germany where "they pay strippers a lot more" - she was an absolute walking catastrophe.  She showed me her new "fire-breathing" act which she intended to incorporate in the show - and she burned herself quite badly right across her midriff.  So that was a hospital job. 

I couldn't help but like her though.  She was such a character.    Everything she did went wrong.  I hope she fared well in Germany - I never heard from her again.

No?  What happened on that one? I loved Rising Damp and watched most of them but don't remember a python.

You couldn't make it up, Milly!    There's something very poignant about a failed stripper. A bit like John Major's father who was described as 'a failed trapeze artist'

I do hope the poor python found a suitable new home somewhere. And indeed that your stripper friend went on to great success in Germany, whatever props she ended up with. (I do hope she wasn't allergic to ostrich feathers.)  

  It gets better and better, Milly! Of course, in Rising Damp, the python escapes - but I won't tell you any more  as you must find a copy to watch. I love Rising Damp too - only discovered it relatively recently as didn't see it when it was originally shown. Leonard Rossiter's Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin too. Wonderful.

   

I think your brother's friend must be related to my friend!  Couldn't get rabbits to breed? 

What a pity I've lost touch - we could have introduced them.  What a pair they'd have made! 

I like our stick insects - they're all gentle female vegetarians. 
I had over 60 kids aged 3-8 letting them crawl up their arms today - oh, this shouldn't be in the Grumpy Old Rant Room, it was a Happy Thing!