Badger shuffled forward, cleared his throat, wiped his paws on his grubby green velvet waistcoat, adjusted his pince-nez and turned to address the assembled animals:
“It has come to my notice," he began, "that today marks the birthday of a certain Ms Termite-Lover..."
"I loves a termite," sighed a shrew mournfully.
"....who has been a resident of these here boards for some time now," continued Badger, ignoring the interruption, "delighting us with her waffle...."
"I loves waffles too," remarked the shrew, biting his lower lip regretfully.
"So with no further ado, may we various animals wish her a Happy Birthday!"
"Happy Birthday!" chorused the happy animals, bringing forth a huge chocolate birthday cake.
"It's one of those whot that Mr IGI did make," explained a hedgehog proudly.
"He's got far too much time on his 'ands if you asks me," muttered Stoat jealously.
"Shut it, Stoat," snapped Badger, "and fetch the knife."
Everyone shuffled a few paces back....
"I loves chocolate cake," sniffed Shrew, sadly, "I'm sure that Ms Termite-Lover won't want it all on account that she's probably off partying with them Welsh sports blokes...the ones with the funny shaped-balls."
"There are times, Shrew," muttered Badger, peering over his pince-nez, "when frankly you disappoint me."
"Who's Frank?" whispered Shrew to a passing squirrel....
Happy Birthday, Anty!!! 
