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martle
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« Reply #1125 on: 08:37:21, 22-10-2008 » |
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Daniel, are you a closet CBTherapist? .. That's classic CBT speak.
Yes sorry, that did dribble out a bit like p.94 of a CBT handbook. I certainly didn't mean to sound critical! I was impressed.  |
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Green. Always green.
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Daniel
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« Reply #1126 on: 12:59:31, 22-10-2008 » |
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I certainly didn't mean to sound critical!
Oh no, martle, you didn't seem critical at all, I'm sorry I gave that impression. I was just trying to laugh at myself rather than criticise you, I'd just read back through what I'd written and it did sound rather like a self-help manual. That was all. |
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Ruby2
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« Reply #1127 on: 11:16:25, 23-10-2008 » |
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Thanks Martle, Milly, MabelJane and Daniel for the kind words.  Martle - your fridge story actually helped me yesterday! I hadn't been able to quite "get" it before, even when you sent it by PM months ago, but I was in bed with a terrible cold and a banging headache and the headache was setting me off for some reason, like the idea that there was no escape from it. I don't know why, but the idea of the fridge very calmly (if reluctantly) keeping the trainers cool struck a chord and it really did help, so thanks for that! Accepting the headache... Feeling a lot better today and touch-wood panic free. |
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"Two wrongs don't make a right. But three rights do make a left." - Rohan Candappa
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Morticia
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« Reply #1128 on: 21:40:04, 23-10-2008 » |
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I don't really refer here to my work that much, but we have such a heartbreaking case at the moment that really got to me today. Young chap of 39, married with a very wee child. He was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago and the damn thing has spread everywhere. He's kept going and going, despite having so much thrown at him and being in a lot of pain. Yesterday was his child's first birthday. We all made a bit of a fuss about the boy, got him a present and sang Happy Birthday, then walked out of the room with lumps in our throats. We all suspected that he (the patient) was probably keeping going to see that birthday. Sure enough, today he said he's had enough and just wants to 'fall asleep' now but he doesn't want his wife to know. She wants me to keep seeing him 'because it's the only thing that makes him feel good now'. I will, of course, but what a bloody sad scenario. He's exhausted, she's exhausted and the wee one won't remember his dad.
There's no answer to this but sometimes things are easier to air with cyber friends at a distance. Sorry if this sounds gloomy. Just getting it off my chest. I'll pick meself up tomorrow and paddle on. A good night's sleep will help.
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Turfan Fragment
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« Reply #1129 on: 21:55:05, 23-10-2008 » |
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Thank you for sharing that story, Mort. Some people are incredibly tough in the face of inexorable conditions. Sometimes their families end up relying on THEM to show strength and optimism, and often, they deliver.
What else can I add? My thoughts are with you.
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richard barrett
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« Reply #1130 on: 22:05:34, 23-10-2008 » |
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Mine too. I don't really know how you do it, Mort.
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #1131 on: 22:14:19, 23-10-2008 » |
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You're very noble and brave Mort. I wouldn't be able to cope with all that pain. It takes a very special person. I think we'd all like to think we would be able to help someone out in a crisis and perhaps occasionally that is the case, but as a job....well that's another ball game entirely. Bless you. |
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We pass this way but once. This is not a rehearsal!
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martle
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« Reply #1132 on: 22:25:59, 23-10-2008 » |
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Mort, I've told you what I think about what you do. I've been in places such as you work in and know what's involved. Them people above me in this thread? They're right. |
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Green. Always green.
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Mary Chambers
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« Reply #1133 on: 22:27:02, 23-10-2008 » |
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I feel for you, Mort. I wouldn't be able to cope. I have a vivid memory of the time when my husband died (aged 40, cancer again), of seeing two young nurses hurry away when they saw me coming. I absolutely understood, and even at that moment felt sorry for them. The Sister, however, was wonderful, and it must have been hard for her, too. They had all seen my little boys. My younger one (who is about to be a father himself) doesn't remember his father, though fortunately he had a wonderful grandfather in my father.
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Morticia
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« Reply #1134 on: 22:44:47, 23-10-2008 » |
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Thank you all Send good vibes out to Stuart ,his wife and their wee one in a North London hospice . And if there's any to spare for the nurses and docs .... You're all stars! |
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #1135 on: 22:52:07, 23-10-2008 » |
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I'll pray for them all. I often pray. Agnostic though I am, I do tend towards Pascal's Wager. I'll light a candle too in case that works. Best to keep an open mind I think, try everything - just in case.
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We pass this way but once. This is not a rehearsal!
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MabelJane
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« Reply #1136 on: 23:08:31, 23-10-2008 » |
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Dear Mort, I've just read these posts and send you and your patients and colleagues all the good vibes I possibly can. A very good friend of mine works in a hospice in South West Wales and I know what a wonderful job she does and how emotionally draining it is. One of our TAs at school is off work at the moment. Her pregnant daughter-in-law S was just a couple of weeks off her baby's due date last week when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her baby was induced and born a few days ago then S was immediately taken off for the start of her treatment. I'm not sure when they'll operate but it'll be soon. Everyone is very thankful that the baby (Tilly Vanessa) is safe and well but what a terrible time that family is going through when it should be such a joyous occasion. |
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Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative.
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Ron Dough
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« Reply #1137 on: 23:54:50, 23-10-2008 » |
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There's not a lot I can add here, Mort, not least because it's still very close to home (even if we seem to have a wee bit of a reprieve at the moment), though of course I too send all spare positive thoughts in a southerly direction.
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Jonathan
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« Reply #1138 on: 09:29:36, 24-10-2008 » |
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I really don't know how people work with the sick and dying, i just couldn't do it - i would find it too upsetting. I feel the same way about people who work with Altzheimer's patients, I think i would just give up and leave in that situation.
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Best regards,
Jonathan
*********************************************
"as the housefly of destiny collides with the windscreen of fate..."
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brassbandmaestro
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« Reply #1139 on: 09:38:51, 24-10-2008 » |
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That used to be my job as well. It, in a strange way I suppose to you people there, has its rewards. i say this because, the relatives can see that you are doing a good job and are very nearly, always thankful ever so, for the work that you do, for the loved one in their last days/
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