Depression isn't so much about being unhappy as lacking energy, being incapable of fighting the overwhelming feelings of despair and futility. You can't dig yourself out of the hole because you can't see where the sky is, and anyway there's a suffocating black cloud sitting above you. All you can do is climb back into bed and pull the duvet up over your head. All the 'count your blessings' approach does is increase the sense of guilt and reinforce the feeling that there is no one in the world who understands how you're feeling.

Or so they tell me.

cw

Yes Mary, Milly's prescription is excellent for attacks of boredom or selfishness, maybe, also jealousy and sloth -- don't ask how I know these things -- but for true depression you just have to grit your teeth and ask your useless GP for another bottle of the Euphoria Pills. Then you can go out for a long walk and think what a wonderful world we live in.

Oh, and singing helps. Especially in company.

Now I'll shut up.

cw

Depression is `absence of hope.
We all lose hope sometimes.
I don't know how I survived to this point because I had bee without any hope most of my life.
This was my perception.

The sad truth although we go through this lose of hope (most of us know what it is) we still don't help each other.
That what I find appoling.
But do people have to help? Not all people are generose, not all people are giving. Some people are selfish, some people are too did not live through the experience and can not help, some are too young to understand, some are too old.

In any case despaire is the worse feeling. There is a solution to every problem, we just don't see it. This doesn't help, I know.
Some times we need patience and we have to wait to see solution and sometimes we have to be active.

I don't know what will help, but I know that with support and good calm positive mood problems will be solved.

I've not looked at this thread before, but having now done so, would like to add my best wishes. I can't contribute anything more useful though.

Firstly, apologies for dragging this thread out of the depths again, but i fear there is nowhere else to turn without appearing deeply jealous.

I have a real problem with quietness. I've been trying to work on it for some time, but of late the methods i have been using just don't seem to be having any effect. Every day i see people around me establishing friendships and going off having what seems to be the time of their lives (is that not the point of uni ) and it seems so utterly simple for them. How I wish even starting a conversation, let alone a lasting friendship, was that easy for me.

even to get any further than "hi how are you?" is a hard job. just rarely think of anything else to say, and many times when i do by the time i've thought of it the appropriate moment seems to have passed. This is usually accompanied by some eerie silence and some back-stabbing glances.

and what's more people are always too polite to tell you what they think of you. that really annoys me. I've had one say "you're just happy in your own company". Well meant maybe, but it's not going to help the situation.


Compared to the rest of this thread this is all total triviality, i know. And I'm well aware that this all smacks of hyper-moody-recently-come-out-of-teenager-but-not-quite-fully-there-in-measure-of-adult-mentality-syndrome.

too much mahler 9, i suspect 

Hi Eruanto

Don't know if this helps in any way, but you might try turning the problem on its head - ie those people who you are saying "hi" to should be bouncing a conversational ball back to you, therefore the problem lies in their lack of social skills rather than anything to do with you! (The other trick I had was just to listen to what other people were saying and realise that most of it was verbal diarrhoea anyway!!!)

What you say makes me think that there are people at your Uni who are missing out on some good, interesting and sensitive company - that is certainly what comes over in your message. And it's certainly not total triviality - nothing that makes anyone unhappy is trivial.

Friendships come at the most unexpected moments, and the best ones are unforced, not manufactured! Hang on in there, be your unique self!

Eruanto,

Thanks for writing to us about that. I've been trying to write something helpful but I've been finding it difficult at this time of night! I agree with tp and roslynmuse, though. I would add that being a student can be especially tough because expectations of having the time of one's life can be unrealistically high. Students are not the easiest of people to get on with either, I think, as many of them are more adolescent than they would care to admit. I personally found people easier to get on with as I (and they) got older. I've never found small talk easy but, although one should make an effort it is wrong to try too hard and it is more important to be yourself, relax, and above all never dislike yourself for who you are. I guess you are more sensitive than most and that is something to be proud of.