11. An honorary membership awaits any composer writing works for Grades V-VII Flute who include instructions to beat the music stand violently with the flute mouthpiece. For a long time now, examiners have complained about the steady procession of teenage girls named Jacinta/Fenella/Camilla/Skandia*, each with about as much talent for blowing as would not inflate a paper bag, and as much gumption as a wet cloth, entering the examination room with a nice shiny new gold mouthpiece.
"Hurry up, Jemima, and don't go near those
strange men."