Mary, I hope you feel better soon.  Perhaps it's the weather?

I'm reading an excellent book at the moment called "The Road Less Travelled and Beyond" by M. Scott Peck.  He was a practising psychiatrist for many years and an MD.  Also, unusually for a scientist, he was a profoundly spiritual and religious man.  He gives some insights on the "happiness" thing.  I would recommend you read this if you can get hold of it.  The Dalai Lama's books are all very good too.  I have most of his but as for a recommendation I think any of his that you come across would do.  I find this sort of book helpful because often I become "stuck" in a way of thinking or gloom and it helps to be shown another way of thinking.  You have to be open-minded though.

xxx

I'm beginning to think we're related Mary!  We're very similar in many ways.  I much prefer autumn and winter to the summer.  I don't like the heat either.  I always put it down to being born in February.

Re. George's "little bit happier" suggestion, I just mentioned it to my bloke and he says try smiling at yourself in the mirror.  Sometimes just the act of physically smiling cheers you up apparently due to the unconscious message it sends to the brain that you must be happy really or you wouldn't be doing it.

(Myself I wouldn't personally use the mirror - that would depress me more!  )

I am actually meeting a lot of life challenges now.

I have to adjust to life in the profession late in life. I still have to understand that students are not my friends and that relations with them are different than I had with my teacher (who was not my friend, but was very demanding teacher) who took responsibilities for my professional growth and finding the next place for me to go (college, conservatory etc).
Here relations are more formal and I have problems adjusting to that.

Also if one plays with other people also it is better not to get close (or closer than absolutely necessary). These people are just casual partner in music making and that is all.

I still have difficulty in adjusting to life itself and that is in my age. I really feel ashame.
I still find it hard to accept that many people are not nice at all.

Oh t-p, it seems like you too need some words to keep you going (as well as you givingthem to others)......


Who says?  Friendships can take many forms - even a formal instructional relationship can involve some of the emotions of friendship - 'trust' is surely something that a teacher and pupil must share?  For me, a good teacher allows teh pupil to have their own space (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?) but is there as a guide if the pupil wants them / when the pupil needs them.  That's quite frioendly really.


Well, you do of course have to be careful about invading people's provate space.  This must be very hard for instrumental teachers where they need to correct poor posture, muscle positions, etc.  perhaps show, ask the pupil to copy, and ask their permission to help if they don't get it?

And 'get close' in other meanings?  Well, that goes for any propfessional relationship.  With music being such an emotional thing, and seeing people open out through it, I can guess it's hard to be a teacher in this respect too.


Please continue believing that people are nice.  Many people do do nasty things, but my gut tells me that most 'nasty people' are just acting that way because of a situation they find themselves in.  My guess is that people have so many complex desires that when they aren't quite compatible, that leads to an internal strife.   And they cannot find a way out of it without doing something that their inner self really dislikes.  It's up to people like us on this board to help them look at things differently.

Mind you, there is still the odd person I can't accept has a 'nice' core, but they are thankfully few and far between.

Tommo

I think you're absolutely right, Tommo. And thanks for saying it!

I offer the following as a serious contribution on the subject, however flippant it may seem:

http://www.westsidestory.com/site/level2/lyrics/krupke.html

On the topic of musicals, some Avenue Q:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jw3KW7WJtYM  - "It sucks to be me"

Not exactly happy-affirming, but usually leaves me in a good mood : )

(I can't hear sound on this computer, but the video looks like the right one)

Agreed with the people who said that most people aren't all that bad.  But some people still have fiercely irritating ways of going about getting what they want.

*goes off, whistling "everyone's a little bit racist"*

Yes, tinners. Much as I love it anyway (and it too contains moments of genius), Into The Woods, for example, I find pretty flawed, both in terms of the music (which can almost be trite sometimes) and the lyrics. I suppose I find him uneven. But I'm still a fan!

Perhaps we might amend that to 'on many occasions', martle and tinners. Every now and again there are what seem to me serious miscalculations in his work: much as I admire Sweeney Todd, for example, (the Little Priest number is genius with knobs on), I'm always aware that the second act goes seriously out of control in its shuttlecocking backwards and forwards between being a musical and an opera, particularly when it gets to By The Beautiful Sea, which wrecks the dramatic impetus completely. I've heard an interview where this very point was raised with him: he even went so far as to agree, but then addded that it was the first thing in the show he'd finished, and so he couldn't bear to cut it. Surely a creative artist needs to pay more heed to his critical faculties?

 Even ALW cuts numbers if they don't achieve the intended effect.