...
C) Great Computerized Member Rating Point Table:
...
Punctuation is, we think, crucial to meaningful literary expression. We may perhaps consider the latent ambiguities presented by the above (which, save for the final colon, deliberately desists from the use of any punctuation whatsoever). Several possibilities, we think, present themselves:
a) the "Table" is a big one consisting of points that have been calculated by a computer and from which it is thought possible to "rate" the relative qualities of members
b) the Member running this "Table" (in this case one Mr Grew) has lost the natural use of one of his members (an arm or leg, say) and has acquired mobility to operate the computerized table by having a very large bionic implant inserted, and has thus become a true "bionic man" who is now rating the "point table"
c) the Member (our Mr Grew) has acquired his greatness by having become completely computerized in all his bodily and mental functions, and has claimed ownership of a "rating point table"
d) the Member running this Table is not Mr Grew (as we mistakenly thought) but one "Mr Rating"; and it is this Member Rating's huge computer that adds up the points as we go along
e) it is merely a quotation from a modern Oriental philosopher who - in having written "Great computerized member rating table" - wishes us to understand "It is wonderful to have a member who understands computers and is now explaining why some computer workstations are ergonomically more user-friendly in their layout than others"
The possibilities are surely endless? So let's abolish all punctuation!
Baz
