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Chafing Dish
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« on: 12:41:37, 13-09-2007 » |
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Here are the rules:
1. Don't admit anything that paradoxically makes you look very erudite, such as obscure trivia or, conversely, pop culture trivia. "I don't know the name of Harry Potter's pet owl" and "I don't know the name of Jane Eyre's suitor's crazy wife who lives in his attic" both will actually prevent us from deriding you. Do you notice how that works? Interesting...
2. Don't use this thread to relieve people of their ignorance. Just laugh at them, or better, show that you are even more ignorant.
I'll start:
I can never remember offhand whether Iraq is east or west of Iran. I always have to consult a map.
I don't know if anyone can top that, actually. My taxes go to kill people over there, and I can't even form a mental image of the surrounding political geography.
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« Last Edit: 12:43:35, 13-09-2007 by Chafing Dish »
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Chafing Dish
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« Reply #1 on: 13:11:59, 13-09-2007 » |
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3. Don't try to rationalize.
I have been resisting the temptation to do so for the last half hour.
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George Garnett
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« Reply #2 on: 13:17:49, 13-09-2007 » |
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I can never ever remember what these words mean for more than ten minutes at most after looking them up:
Atavistic
Avatar
Bathetic
Dirigiste
Ornery
And I always start off by thinking that 'irenic' and 'dilate' mean the opposite of what they do, and have to reverse each of them every single time.
Whenever there's a headline about someone bidding for control of the LSE I always think they are talking about the London School of Economics. Every single time. I never learn.
I always think Surinam is somewhere other than where it is. Poland isn't quite in the right place either.
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« Last Edit: 16:05:11, 13-09-2007 by George Garnett »
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time_is_now
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« Reply #3 on: 13:21:08, 13-09-2007 » |
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My mental map of England has an embarrassing number of weird errors due to the fact that I seem to have arbitrarily assigned geographical locations to football teams at the age of about 10 and seem to be incapable of learning which ones were anything like correct and which ones were hopeless fantasy. It's the fact that London has several teams rather than one team called London which confused me (edit: just noticed CD's injunction not to rationalise; I think he's right - this London business doesn't really seem a sufficient explanation  ). On the one hand it led me to believe that Coventry was part of London, an idea I've never quite shaken off despite several train journeys through the Midlands since then: I still have to think twice about it. On the other hand, QPR (Queen's Park Rangers) is I think a London team - I'm still only about 70% sure of this - the problem being that the 10-year-old time_is_now decided (on no hard evidence that I can summon in his defence) that QPR was a town on the North-East coast, somewhere between Hull and Newcastle. There are various other intermediate examples of English towns that I've either amalgamated into London or magically extracted from London and transplanted half-way across this sceptred isle. |
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« Last Edit: 13:23:58, 13-09-2007 by time_is_now »
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The city is a process which always veers away from the form envisaged and desired, ... whose revenge upon its architects and planners undoes every dream of mastery. It is [also] one of the sites where Dasein is assigned the impossible task of putting right what can never be put right. - Rob Lapsley
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thompson1780
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« Reply #4 on: 13:29:03, 13-09-2007 » |
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I don't know the price of fish.  Tommo |
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Made by Thompson & son, at the Violin & c. the West end of St. Paul's Churchyard, LONDON
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #5 on: 13:34:50, 13-09-2007 » |
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I don't have a television.
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
- Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
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Chafing Dish
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« Reply #6 on: 13:42:10, 13-09-2007 » |
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I don't have a television.
This is a violation of rule #1. Surely you have something more cringe-worthy! |
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martle
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« Reply #7 on: 13:42:31, 13-09-2007 » |
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I haven't knowingly ever heard a note nor a warble of Lily Allen; nor Amy Winehouse until a clip was played on the news following that story about her cancelling gigs cos she was bladdered. I used to be able to keep up. (Sorry, is that last bit rationalising?)  |
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Green. Always green.
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Chafing Dish
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« Reply #8 on: 13:45:12, 13-09-2007 » |
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My mental map of England has an embarrassing number of weird errors due to the fact that I seem to have arbitrarily assigned geographical locations to football teams at the age of about 10 and seem to be incapable of learning which ones were anything like correct and which ones were hopeless fantasy. It's the fact that London has several teams rather than one team called London which confused me (edit: just noticed CD's injunction not to rationalise; I think he's right - this London business doesn't really seem a sufficient explanation ). On the one hand it led me to believe that Coventry was part of London, an idea I've never quite shaken off despite several train journeys through the Midlands since then: I still have to think twice about it. On the other hand, QPR (Queen's Park Rangers) is I think a London team - I'm still only about 70% sure of this - the problem being that the 10-year-old time_is_now decided (on no hard evidence that I can summon in his defence) that QPR was a town on the North-East coast, somewhere between Hull and Newcastle. There are various other intermediate examples of English towns that I've either amalgamated into London or magically extracted from London and transplanted half-way across this sceptred isle. This contains far too much rationalizing, but since it's entertaining I'll allow it. Now I am done moderating and hope the remainder will self-moderate. |
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #9 on: 13:46:08, 13-09-2007 » |
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I don't have a television.
This is a violation of rule #1. Surely you have something more cringe-worthy! I do now.... I have violated Rule One... |
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
- Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
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richard barrett
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« Reply #10 on: 14:08:20, 13-09-2007 » |
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I don't know what the top note of any wind instrument is. (So people tell me anyway.)
If you gave me a map of the USA with none of the cities marked on it I wouldn't know where most of them ought to be, apart I suppose from easy ones like Seattle, Miami and LA. I know New York is somewhere on the east coast but I have no idea where. (Nor have I ever been there.)
I have never listened all through (either in live or recorded form) any work whatsoever by Verdi or Puccini.
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stuart macrae
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« Reply #11 on: 14:18:02, 13-09-2007 » |
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I can never remember offhand whether Iraq is east or west of Iran. I always have to consult a map.
Ha! So all that stuff about Americans being ignorant about geography was just a rumour then...! I don't know what the top note of any wind instrument is. (So people tell me anyway.)
Richard - that seems a bit too erudite to me! You seem to imply (correctly) that the people who tell you are in fact often wrong. George - I can top you, as I actually don't know (and never have done) what any of your words mean! |
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time_is_now
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« Reply #12 on: 14:21:52, 13-09-2007 » |
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I'm afraid I can trump at least one of Richard's admissions. On reading his post I was about to say: 'Richard, you're so dumb, New York isn't on the coast at all, it's inland.' Then I looked at an online map. |
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The city is a process which always veers away from the form envisaged and desired, ... whose revenge upon its architects and planners undoes every dream of mastery. It is [also] one of the sites where Dasein is assigned the impossible task of putting right what can never be put right. - Rob Lapsley
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Chafing Dish
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« Reply #14 on: 14:27:49, 13-09-2007 » |
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Ha! So all that stuff about Americans being ignorant about geography was just a rumour then...!
I'm not an Amurrkin, I'm a Djurrman who just live here! You ignoramus!  Besides, after this catharsis I now have a mnemonic. Syria must be next to Iraq, and I know it's next to Jordan, so Iran must be further off to the right. Or left if you're facing south. Right? East. With Saudi Arabia straight ahead. The big steak-shaped one on the water. |
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