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The Radio 3 Boards > General Chat > The Coffee Bar > Underfunded schools to cut Past Tense from curriculum!
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Author Topic: Underfunded schools to cut Past Tense from curriculum!  (Read 259 times)
IgnorantRockFan
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« on: 16:52:37, 10-12-2007 »
Bit radical but it might just work...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/underfunded_schools_forced_to_cut

Quote
A part of American school curricula for more than 200 years, the past tense was deemed by school administrators to be too expensive to keep in primary and secondary education.

"This was by no means an easy decision, but teaching our students how to conjugate verbs in a way that would allow them to describe events that have already occurred is a luxury that we can no longer afford," Phoenix-area high-school principal Sam Pennock said. "With our current budget, the past tense must unfortunately become a thing of the past."

In the most dramatic display of the new trend yet, the Tennessee Department of Education decided Monday to remove "-ed" endings from all of the state's English classrooms, saving struggling schools an estimated $3 million each year.

"At first I think the decision to drop the past tense from class is ridiculous, and I feel very upset by it," said David Keller, a seventh-grade student at Hampstead School in Fort Meyers, FL. "But now, it's almost like it never happens."
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #1 on: 19:58:57, 10-12-2007 »
Quote from: IgnorantRockFan on 16:52:37, 10-12-2007
Bit radical but it might just work...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/underfunded_schools_forced_to_cut

Quote
A part of American school curricula for more than 200 years, the past tense was deemed by school administrators to be too expensive to keep in primary and secondary education.

"This was by no means an easy decision, but teaching our students how to conjugate verbs in a way that would allow them to describe events that have already occurred is a luxury that we can no longer afford," Phoenix-area high-school principal Sam Pennock said. "With our current budget, the past tense must unfortunately become a thing of the past."

In the most dramatic display of the new trend yet, the Tennessee Department of Education decided Monday to remove "-ed" endings from all of the state's English classrooms, saving struggling schools an estimated $3 million each year.

"At first I think the decision to drop the past tense from class is ridiculous, and I feel very upset by it," said David Keller, a seventh-grade student at Hampstead School in Fort Meyers, FL. "But now, it's almost like it never happens."



It's not April 1st is it?  Huh
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Bryn
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« Reply #2 on: 20:39:55, 10-12-2007 »
Quote from: IgnorantRockFan on 16:52:37, 10-12-2007
Bit radical but it might just work...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/underfunded_schools_forced_to_cut



Quite, quite superb. You are right. It might just work, and even if it fails, nobody will be able to complain about it, as it would by then be no longer happening.
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thompson1780
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« Reply #3 on: 23:02:34, 10-12-2007 »
Cuts!  Once you let one take control, they just won't don't go away.  First is is the past tense, next it will be is the future tense.  If they took take away the conditional, where would we be are we?

Tommo
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oliver sudden
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« Reply #4 on: 23:53:50, 10-12-2007 »
Milly, The Onion is an often brilliant American satirical mag. They once had a column (maybe still do but I only have 8 minutes left on my hotel wireless internet so pardon me if I don't check) supposedly by a gangsta rapping accountant. (Talked a lot about the 'hos down in the pay room'.) Had me in stitches at regular intervals for months...

Er, yes, easily amused I am, I did mention that did not I?
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #5 on: 07:33:01, 11-12-2007 »
Thank God for that!  For a dreadful few minutes there.......

You see, nothing would ever surprise me really.  Roll Eyes
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increpatio
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« Reply #6 on: 07:47:20, 11-12-2007 »
Quote from: thompson1780 on 23:02:34, 10-12-2007
First is is the past tense, next it will be is the future tense.

Temporal prepositions are enough, I think, to survive in such a world (as you have illustrated).
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Baz
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« Reply #7 on: 08:19:00, 11-12-2007 »
Well, there's nothing like practising what one preaches is there!? From the said article comes this:

Quote
...a number of lawmakers, such as Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, have welcomed the cuts as proof that the American school system is taking a more forward-thinking approach to education.

"Our tax dollars should be spent preparing our children for the future, not for what has already happened," Hatch said at a recent press conference. "It's about time we stopped wasting everyone's time with who 'did' what or 'went' where. The past tense is, by definition, outdated."

Said Hatch, "I can't even remember the last time I had to use it."

Now surely that is a misprint for:

Quote
"...a number of lawmakers, such as Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, do welcome the cuts as proof that the American school system is taking a more forward-thinking approach to education.

"Our tax dollars should be spending preparing our children for the future, not for what is already happening," Hatch says at a recent press conference. "It's about time we are stopping wasting everyone's time with who 'does' what or 'goes' where. The past tense is, by definition, outdating."

Said Hatch, "I can't even remember the last time I am using it."

Now we can see where all those wasting dollars are spending, and how many more will have to be wasting to correct such errors so that - as can be seen above - we shall all understand each other much more easily.

Baz  Huh
« Last Edit: 08:26:27, 11-12-2007 by Baz » Logged
C Dish
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« Reply #8 on: 08:22:08, 11-12-2007 »
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Today is the last day of your life so far.
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Baz
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« Reply #9 on: 08:32:01, 11-12-2007 »
Quote from: C Dish on 08:22:08, 11-12-2007
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Today is the last day of your life so far.

I am wondering: what year is Shakespeare born, and what year is he dying? Does he ever stop dying indeed? Also, between the year he is born and the year he is dying, is he ever using the 'past tense' in his writings?

Baz
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #10 on: 12:03:27, 11-12-2007 »
They shouldn't be worrying about what happened in the past.  Their Government will create an official version of the past in which all plans and intentions appear to lead to positive (if fictitious) outcomes that in turn reflect well upon the Govt.  Viz the Enigma Code was cracked by Americans, America saved Europe in WW2, etc.

The delicate task of establishing what happened in the past is too complex to be entrusted to non-Governmental employees.
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harmonyharmony
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« Reply #11 on: 12:09:32, 11-12-2007 »
Quote from: Reiner Torheit on 12:03:27, 11-12-2007
They shouldn't be worrying about what happened in the past.  Their Government will create an official version of the past in which all plans and intentions appear to lead to positive (if fictitious) outcomes that in turn reflect well upon the Govt.  Viz the Enigma Code was cracked by Americans, America saved Europe in WW2, etc.

The delicate task of establishing what happened in the past is too complex to be entrusted to non-Governmental employees.
I'm sorry but why is this in the future tense?
Hasn't it already happened?
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