I didn't know that particular story, tinners, but it sounds all too familiar. Very similar to something she said to me in similar circumstances, in fact!

By the way, I'd count you as one of those '4/5' people who I would trust for an honest and direct opinion (whenever you felt it appropriate to express one). 

Here's a little Awkwardness I get from time to time...  I wondered if I was alone in it?

Do you ever find that when you invite people you know to performances,  that they regard it as though they are doing you an enormous favour by condescending to come along?

More particularly, on the day of the show, they wait until the final 3 hours before the performance (ie when you are most likely to be doing some final rehearsal) to call you with the following (real, not-made-up) questions:

# where is the concert hall?  could you send me a .pdf map of the area?  where is the parking?  why isn't the parking free?

# what is the show about?  (15 mins before it starts...)

# can I bring my Aunt Val?  would she like it?

# hello, this is her Aunt Val.  You don't me, but...   now, where is the concert hall? (etc, revert to top)

# actually I can't come but I haven't seen you for ages and felt like a chat

# (4 mins before sold-out concert) you know we said we'd definitely come, so please save us the best 10 seats?  Well, actually we can't come  (the cat's been sick/it's the anniversary of the Cadiz uprising/we've lost our house-keys/etc).

Is it very uncharitable to begrudge the time and affected pleasure of receiving these calls?

Behind my concerns that I might be a curmudgeonly crusty lies my own approach to Invites - that it's a ticket that's cost money, and not everyone has got in free...  so I find the concert-hall under my own initiative (even if it's bloody "Orchestrion" in the middle of nowhere),  arrive early,  and usually bring some flowers for whoever has been nice enough to invite me.   But perhaps I've borrowed Hoffmann's rose-tinted specs without realising?

Of course, especially in Australia...

Even when they're lovely people. Of course they then tend not to be the ones who have much idea about the whole musician business. "So what will you do when you finish with the music, then?"

This isn't quite awkward, more confused, but I couldn't find a "Confused Thread" or a "Tying One's Self Up In Knots Over Minutiae Thread"...

I've been gradually preparing parts for the B-minor mass over the past few weeks, seeing as I'm leading it twice next month, haven't done so since I was a student and may not have much time closer to the date.  In a moment of rash exuberance (ie I was slightly tipsy) I marked in an unorthodox bowing for the Gratias agimus that I thought would suit the words better than the usual.  But looking at it now I find myself faced with all sorts of questions.  Is it actually a better bowing?  Maybe in some ways.  But since it's not completely obvious that it's better, should I revert to the usual kind of bowing?  Maybe.  Why am I reluctant to do what's normal?  Do I want to court controversy for its own sake in order to prove some kind of point?  What kind of point?  Am I being insufferably arrogant in imposing a weird bowing on my colleagues?  Or do I imagine that I may gain some kind of respect for having - and sticking with - an unorthodox opinion?  Am I so insecure that I think I need to resort to these kinds of tricks to gain respect?  But it's not actually a trick, is it?  I really do think it's a better bowing in some ways - or do I?

Basically I've cracked open the score ready to do some work, and found myself suddenly faced with loads of self-doubt and self-loathing.  Questioning my intelligence, my integrity, my motives...  And all because of something that really doesn't matter much anyway.

aaargh!

strina

1) What's wrong with the idea that it's an experiment? Trying something out - maybe or maybe not successfully.
2) Have you broken any 'rules'? Surely not!
3) You thought (and still seem to think) that the idea had merit. How will you know for sure until you hear it?
4) Can't you change the bowing back in rehearsal if it patently doesn't work?
5) It's only a flipping bowing, for crying out loud!
6) Have a glass of wine.

 

It was a glass of wine that got me in the bind in the first place!  And yes, it's only a flipping bowing, I know...  It's not at all a difficult bowing, it's just not in accordance with the usual "rules" of baroque playing.  It's upside-down, at least for a while, and that's the kind of thing that can (but not necessarily) really really annoy an HIP string player.

I suppose I'm a bit nervous because it looks like there are going to be a lot of really good and well-established players in these gigs, people who haven't seen me as a leader before - and I want to make a good, confident impression without being completely boring either...  But the more I think about it and deliberately try to do things for the effect they have rather than because it's what I genuinely want, the more I'll probably come over as a complete tosser.  So I should relax and go with what feels more right, but be prepared to change it if necessary.

Right, time to clear my head with some dinnner.  Dinner with a glass of wine.

Thanks all three of you!  

Ah, my local orchestra must be a HIP band at heart then....

Strina,

Ollie has given one of my suggestions already.

The other is a slight variation:  Get to the rehearsal, play it, and if it works you are a genious.  If it doesn't then ask the wand waver how he really wanted that section.  He or she will say something, and then you can say "Oh, is that how you want it. Right, we need to change the bowing"

Works every time

Tommo

Some people are just born awkward.