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Morticia
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« Reply #420 on: 16:44:12, 03-05-2007 » |
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trained-pianist
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« Reply #421 on: 16:50:33, 03-05-2007 » |
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I would go to the hospital if I would be you Morticia. It sounds bad to me. Always better that the doctor looks at it.
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Ian Pace
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« Reply #422 on: 17:01:49, 03-05-2007 » |
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Do go and have it seen to, Mort, you don't want it getting infected or anything. Hope it's ok - alas I reckon that, if they won't allow mobiles to be switched on in A&E (because they interfere with medical equipment), wireless internet looks very unlikely! Try taking Samuel Richardson, or Tolstoy, or Proust, or Solzhenitsyn with you - you should easily get through those before they see you.
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'These acts of keeping politics out of music, however, do not prevent musicology from being a political act . . .they assure that every apolitical act assumes a greater political immediacy' - Philip Bohlman, 'Musicology as a Political Act'
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thompson1780
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« Reply #423 on: 17:17:54, 03-05-2007 » |
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Just popping in to send my congratulations to t-p!
Pop!
And Mort - hope everything sorts out with your hand
Tommo
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Made by Thompson & son, at the Violin & c. the West end of St. Paul's Churchyard, LONDON
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richard barrett
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« Reply #424 on: 17:18:23, 03-05-2007 » |
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Which reminds me. This may be apocryphal but I seem to remember hearing about a person of a certain senior age walking past a large notice in a hospital which said
MRSA ZONE
KEEP OUT
and asking a nurse what it was that Mrs A Zone had done to deserve such strict exclusion.
Also,
Doctor: Ah, good afternoon sir, would you like to take a seat?
Patient: I won't, if it's all the same to you - I seem to have got a cricket ball stuck up my, ahem, bottom.
Doctor: How's that?
Patient: Don't YOU start!
One of my old favourites.
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oliver sudden
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« Reply #425 on: 17:22:39, 03-05-2007 » |
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"Doctor, every time I drink tea I get this stabbing pain in my eye."
"Have you tried taking the spoon out?"
"I don't know, Doctor - I've been taking the suppositories you gave me but for all the good they're doing I may as well be shoving 'em up me a***..."
I think we might all have to get these out of our systems...
Hang in there Mort. Hope it all works out fine.
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Morticia
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« Reply #426 on: 17:27:49, 03-05-2007 » |
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PATIENT: `Doctor, doctor. I keep thinking I`m a pair of curtains`
DOCTOR: `Pull yourself together`.
I`ve got me coat.
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richard barrett
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« Reply #427 on: 17:33:33, 03-05-2007 » |
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"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards!"
"Sit down over there, I'll deal with you later."
"Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck up my, well, you know."
"Hang on a minute, I think I have some cream for that."
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Morticia
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« Reply #428 on: 17:44:50, 03-05-2007 » |
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Man walks into the doctors with a sponge sticking out of one ear and a jelly sticking out of the other.
DOCTOR: `My dear fellow, you appear to be a trifle deaf`.
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martle
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« Reply #429 on: 17:58:07, 03-05-2007 » |
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Bloke: Doctor, we've tried all these treatments for my worms, but nothing's worked. Isn't there ANY other remedy?
Doc: Well... there is one more thing we could try, but it's a bit unsual...
Bloke: Anything, anything!
Doc: Ok, well, for the next two weeks I want you to stick an apple and a Mars bar, er, up there each day. But the apple first, always.
Two weeks later...
Bloke: Well, I did it. It hurt. And I still have worms.
Doc: Ah, wait and see. Remove your trousers and undergarments and bend over.
The Doc sticks an apple, er, up there and stands behind the bloke wielding a large baseball bat and waits...
A few minutes later, a worm pokes its head out and cries, 'Where's my Mars bar then?!'
THWACK.
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« Last Edit: 18:29:21, 03-05-2007 by martle »
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Green. Always green.
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Morticia
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« Reply #430 on: 18:08:17, 03-05-2007 » |
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Martle, I don`t believe it! That joke kept skittering across my mind and I thought, no, behave Mort.  |
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thompson1780
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« Reply #431 on: 18:36:06, 03-05-2007 » |
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"Doctor, people keep ignoring me"
"NEXT!"
Tommo
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Made by Thompson & son, at the Violin & c. the West end of St. Paul's Churchyard, LONDON
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John W
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« Reply #432 on: 23:07:27, 03-05-2007 » |
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'Hello', the doctor said, 'haven't seen you in my surgery for a looooong time, eh?'
'Yeah, I've been ill.'
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Morticia
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« Reply #433 on: 23:11:50, 03-05-2007 » |
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BOOM BOOM!!! |
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tonybob
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« Reply #434 on: 23:13:27, 03-05-2007 » |
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'dr dr. when i put my hand up in the air, my wrist hurts.'
'then don't put your hand up in the air, then.'
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sososo s & i.
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