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LeTombeauDeCooperman
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« on: 15:13:29, 13-05-2007 » |
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FROM THE CONTROLLER
I am delighted that the latest RAJAR figures vindicate my decision to make sweeping changes to Radio 3, as outlined in my strategy document "Scaling New Heights of Mediocrity" (excerpts available on request).
The figures clearly show the need to reach out to new audiences by offering a non-stop diet of snippets and trailers, and I am confident that the next set of RAJAR figures will show a substantial increase in the Radio 3 audience - not least because I will be adding listening figures for other Radio 3 stations (e.g. the CBC's Radio 3) to our numbers.
There will always be a misguided hardcore element who believe that a station like Radio 3 should broadcast complete works and live performances and I appreciate that for them this is, to quote one our distinguished drivetime R3 DJs, "a triste moment full of tristesse".
Nevertheless, my moment of victory should be marked by a gesture of magnaminity. So for those wanting more of a live concert experience I am delighted to announce that I have dipped into the BBC coffers to fund the formation of the BBC Coughers. Every night they will join the Performance on 3 presenter to cough live in the studio at various intervals of the recorded performance. I may even join them myself, as I have been perfecting my own throat-clearing techniques - most recently at a performance of the Sacre du Printemps. I was most gratified when the Frenchman sitting next to me called me a "rite tousseur" when he found out who I was.
Here's hoping that my plans will continue to stick in people's throats.
Roger Wright
(as dictated to Victor Evey, Executive Assistant, Comptroller Radio 3)
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marbleflugel
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« Reply #1 on: 16:12:34, 13-05-2007 » |
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Devastatingly accurate M . Tombeau. A pilot of the coughing project could be heard in a hostelry near here recently in which Wright appeared as his gannex-clad alter ego, Igor and his electric accordion. (I made my excuses and left)
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'...A celebrity is someone who didn't get the attention they needed as an adult'
Arnold Brown
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #2 on: 20:30:53, 13-05-2007 » |
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
- Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
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Chichivache
Posts: 128
The artiste formerly known as Gabrielle d’Estrées
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« Reply #3 on: 19:05:07, 14-05-2007 » |
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If I understand the figures correctly http://www.rajar.co.uk/quarterlysummary/qstsvfiles/139/Q12007National.pdf - then Radio 3 listening is down 9.4% Q1 07 cf Q1 06, and down 6.2% Q1 07 cf Q4 06. So most of the fall occured in this past quarter, only half of which included the complete pigs' breakfast Roger the Bodger has made of the schedule. Coincidentally, CFM figures rose by 4.8% in the last quarter.... How sad. How predictable. |
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wotthehell toujours gai archy
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Ena
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« Reply #5 on: 20:01:41, 26-10-2007 » |
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Coincidentally, CFM figures rose by 4.8% in the last quarter....
How sad. How predictable.
What's sad about a station pumpin' out classical music? I heard it this afternoon - "Smooth Classics". It wasn't 'till I dented the front of my car that I realized what a blummin silly driver I were! Fancy being taken in by a bloody silly radio! |
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Hermita
Posts: 14
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« Reply #6 on: 17:47:36, 13-11-2007 » |
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Come in Ron Dough. Ron Dough, please come in. Under whatever alias, do come in. You are needed here. Don't you recognise a rallying call from M. le Tombeau when you hear it?
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Ron Dough
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« Reply #7 on: 00:02:38, 14-11-2007 » |
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Mia cara Hermita,
Signor Dough, who depite his name is not always a tonic, he tell me that the muse of inspiration she dessert him on this occasion, and that in consequences he has been impotent to rise to the challenge. I ask him is it a mid-wife crisis if he cannot deliver, but he just shrug his soldiers and say it is more difficulty of conception than delivery. He has, truth to be told, been burning his candles on both sides in a desperated attempt to get to gripes with a 3D software of great complexion, as well as pushing on with projects for other peoples. I myself am dissolute to discover that he is making next to none progress with his promised libretto for my new opera, Ruggiero Periculoso. He spend far too much time racketing about Scotland with those camera, I think.
I tell him how badly he let everybody down, but I fear it's like water off a duke's backside.
I many apologise on his behalfs,
Vincenzo (Bellini)
P.S. This Rajar - is it Indian prince or bleep...bleep object finding? My English, she comes up to scratch only part-time.
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time_is_now
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« Reply #8 on: 11:00:02, 14-11-2007 » |
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 If Blake could do this when he rose up from shite, What could he not do when he sat down to write? |
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The city is a process which always veers away from the form envisaged and desired, ... whose revenge upon its architects and planners undoes every dream of mastery. It is [also] one of the sites where Dasein is assigned the impossible task of putting right what can never be put right. - Rob Lapsley
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Hermita
Posts: 14
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« Reply #9 on: 12:32:45, 14-11-2007 » |
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Dear Vincenzo,
So he's up to his old tricks again, is he? Chamber-hopping, gooseygander-fashion, on anything that resembles a monroe? Sleepwalking he calls it, but it's just not norma, that's what I say, and I'm no puritan as you well know.
Dough may be a dear at times, but he really must learn to rise to the occasion when he's most needed.
Yrs &c
Abbess H.
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