PS Mort - couldn't agree more with your carp and billhooks assessment of appraisals.
Let us get on with our jobs, cut out Inhuman Remains except for the things where they are there to help and defend us against the Evil Ones at the top... Any one else here have Peer Review? Another load of old clobbers... that's where they give a colleague and (former) friend the loaded gun instead of doing the business themselves...
At our place, we have a "capability framework" that we get measured against (yeah, my ar*e we do). Of course, these are accompanied by capability programmes - but only for the most capable of people.
At the end of each year there is a "Raising People Capability and Performance Review Process". I quote:
'It's about developing a distinct, sustainable and uncompromising performance culture. It will help managers create plans for their grades 3, 4 and 5 that are as effective as their wider business plans.'
(Ah, not very effective then....)
At these meetings you have to set yourself SMART objectives. SMART = Specific Measurable Agreed Relevant and Time-Bound, (not Stupid Monkey-Activity-Related Tasks)
And you have to give yourself a ranking at the end of the year (careful how you say that) for your boss to override (after all he has to justify his position by doing
something!)
People are also assessed for their 'Learning Agility'. (Oh God please let it stop!)
And we don't have training any more. Instead you 'Go on to Learning Space' - an online mishmash of jumbled and uninformative words that is about as near to good training as a cow pat.
Speaking of which, I can smell something coming from my computer.....
Tommo