I can recognise some of that (not the 'top job' bit, but the rest sounds familiar ). Can I very gently and respectfully suggest, mahlerei, as the board's resident "young(ish) person", that sometimes the things you associate with social ostracism and rebelliousness are more age-specific than you realise? ... I can't help feeling you might be worried about your son's piercing because you think it implies certain things about his psychology/mentality/who he's trying to identify with, and I can't help feeling most of your fears on those counts are likely to prove unfounded.

I've never had any piercings - I'd quite like to have my eyebrow done but I wear glasses a lot of the time and they look a bit silly together. My sister has several (nose, ears (several), lip) and several tattoos too, some dating from when we were still teenagers. She was the more rebellious of the two of us at the time, but she now has a much more conventional lifestyle than me - house and car, cat, training to be a nurse after several years working in private healthcare, and getting married this summer (and she's younger than I am!).

That strikes me as a very sensible comment (from the board's other resident young person).

Re Soundwave's post, surely you don't think traditional women's ear-piercings are a symptom of low self-esteem? I doubt you'd even describe those as 'self-mutilation'. It's just a matter of perspective ...

I'm no fan of piercings and it does seem strange that someone can just walk into a shop and be pierced. 

Incidentally, I've met the most pierced person in Britain - in Edinburgh about 10 years ago.  She was sheltering from the rain under the same shop front as I was and she pulled back her cloak and revealed masses of piercings all over her face.  I was rather surprised!!

I'm sure it won't be a Riders to the Sea scenario, mahlerei.

I was an incredibly unrebellious teenager, never out in the evenings, no drinking, no interest in girls or pop music.

Then I went away from home to university, and the evening I came home for the first vacation, I found the atmosphere there quite literally stifling (partly due to getting use to lack of any central heating at college) and I couldn't bear to stay there longer than possible.

When I was in my mid 20s I began living with another man, and that was when my mother found I was really defying expectations....

Tell me about it!! I get that after just a day sometimes.

This will contribute absolutely nothing to this discussion but, GOD! I am SO GLAD I am not a teenager.  I hated my teens. Hated the way I looked. I wasn't allowed to dress the same way as other girls - my mother disapproved of 'maxi coats' or dresses. Wouldn't let me wear cords or jeans. Which probably explains why I tend to wear long dresses now. When I'm not wearing jeans. Sometimes rebellion takes a while

What do you want to know, eru?  Happy to oblige.  It was stifling both literally, (far hotter than I was used) and metaphorically.  I would lie down every afternoon exhausted.  "It's the sea air" said my mother breezily.

Glad the recital went well.  Muddled whether it was an exam or a recital.  Glad you're better now.

Sarcastic is a nasty, crude term.  What you meant was ironic.  Even now I feel difficulty going to seaside resorts for the associations.

Argghhhh, indeed. Generally, I try not to carry out insect slaughter on a grand scale, but when it comes to wasps my feeling is if you don't get the buglers first, then they will get you. Having been 'got' several times by them, I feel I am justified in this. I DON'T LIKE WASPS!