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trained-pianist
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« Reply #15 on: 13:51:29, 08-03-2007 » |
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I wanted to withdraw my contribution yesterday, I was not please the way it came out. But I decided to leave it.
I used to have a book Marcus Aurelius, but lost it. I don't know how he could write like that. I used to read it everyday and even wrote it in my diary sort of thing. Thank you George for your posts.
It is amazing how everyone makes a different point to which one agrees. The last post here by Mary Chambers points out that people do not grow up with knowledge that life is going to be difficult. May be many people hope that hard things will pass them by. I felt that I was not ready for life and did not know how to cope.
I also dont think we want to debate anything here, just discuss. I don't like many aspects of organized religion. Sometimes it is hard to come with right words. I think what I am talking about is spirituality.
And I agree with calum da jazbo, that it is hard to get ready for life as it is impossible to predict how ones life will turn out and what changes may happen. Sometimes economic systems crumble and our lives with it.
I think I agree with you all.
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Lord Byron
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« Reply #16 on: 14:07:01, 08-03-2007 » |
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Life is sometimes easy and good, sometimes hard and bad, tis the way of things, nobody gets a perfectly happy life. If you think someone does then look more into their life and you will see it is a mix.
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Mary Chambers
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« Reply #17 on: 14:55:03, 08-03-2007 » |
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I know about banks, Milly, and I sympathise  Grandmother-dom. We've always been a bit slow in our family. I was in my 30s when I had the boys, my mother was in her 30s, my sons will be in their 30s - or even 40s at this rate! There are advantages either way, I think. If I ever become a grandmother, I shall be the sort that sits in a rocking chair reading fairy-tales and dispensing wisdom (perhaps  ), not the sort that goes mountain-biking and hang-gliding - not that I would have done that anyway. I'm a bit far from topic now. More Waffley. |
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calum da jazbo
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« Reply #18 on: 16:27:46, 08-03-2007 » |
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i always feel much better when a) i do not owe the bank any money and b) i do not have to go there!
an old drinking buddy (now passed away) always reassured me about the bank by saying 'it still has a carpet doesn't it? when banks can't afford a carpet we're all in trouble!'. i do believe he was happy to die owing the bank!
being told about responsibility is a bit like being told what an apple tatstes like. no substitute for experience.
my work has taken me away from base, i have mostly found this an emotionally difficult thing, and indeed it was a major factor in my last marital breakdown ( i do not intend to have another!); but sometimes being away on one's own and being able to please oneself is an almighty luxury - especially for any one keeping the family running. spot of such indulgence is good for one! meet outsiders or no one, go to concerts, eat what you like not what the family likes etc etc. it can become habit forming! in any case it is good practice for that ten minutes in one's life when the kids have disappeared and parent/aunt does not yet need to be visited daily!
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It's just a matter of time before we're late.
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Janthefan
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« Reply #19 on: 17:14:56, 08-03-2007 » |
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I like this thread. It is warm, intelligent, funny, sad and altogether wonderful. I'm sorry I stirred up your anger, Milly, but I did.
I'm not religious either, but working, as I have done for over 20 yrs, with dying people, I have always rather envied the "It's God's will" brigade.
They keep life simple, take on less responsibility and give themselves up to their fate.
Me? I'll go raging on into that darkness.....cant bear to think of missing out on all the things I haven't done yet!
Anyway, less of this gloom - I'm off to London in the morning to refresh my battered spirit...(see Concert Hall thread)
See y'all on Tuesday xxx Jan
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Live simply that all may simply live
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Rob_G
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« Reply #20 on: 19:34:49, 08-03-2007 » |
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I removed the depression thread because I thought it was self indulgent to talk about one's problems. I am probably wrong, perhaps 100% wrong. Well, it's trapped in cyber time now, somewhere. Good luck with this thread though. |
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trained-pianist
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« Reply #21 on: 19:39:14, 08-03-2007 » |
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Is it good or bad to self indulge? I heard people say it is not good to be self indulgent. Then what is good? Drive yourself to the wall?
I am confused with this expression. What does it mean?
My understanding is that if one is lazy and doesn't do anything - this is not good. If one is fed up or can not cope while trying I can not call it bad. May be I don't understand self indulgence thing and what it means.
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Rob_G
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« Reply #22 on: 20:08:44, 08-03-2007 » |
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Ignore me TP, I'm full of inhibitions. Im a virgo.
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Lord Byron
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« Reply #23 on: 20:13:30, 08-03-2007 » |
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Is it good or bad to self indulge? I heard people say it is not good to be self indulgent. Then what is good? Drive yourself to the wall?
I am confused with this expression. What does it mean?
My understanding is that if one is lazy and doesn't do anything - this is not good. If one is fed up or can not cope while trying I can not call it bad. May be I don't understand self indulgence thing and what it means.
Delphi became the site of a major temple to Phoebus Apollo, as well as the Pythian Games and the famous prehistoric oracle. Even in Roman times hundreds of votive statues remained, described by Pliny the Younger and seen by Pausanias. Supposedly carved into the temple were the phrases γνῶθι σεαυτόν ("know thyself") and μηδὲν ἄγαν ("nothing in excess"), as well as a large letter E[2]. |
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trained-pianist
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« Reply #24 on: 20:49:30, 08-03-2007 » |
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You picked it up very correctly, Lord Byron. I do find it hard to to stay in the middle so to say without going too much on either side. You don't write much long posts, but you are perceptive.
Rob G, you are ok. I am full of inhibitions myself. In my life I was sorry many times that I said things to people. But now I think who cares. I am aries, by the way.
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calum da jazbo
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« Reply #25 on: 23:21:16, 08-03-2007 » |
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words are a problem; when i used the phrase 'spot of self indulgence' i did not have the extent of the meaning you have taken from it TP. i simply meant that one has a responsibility to look after oneself as well as other people. circumstance and inclination can enforce the latter responsibility at the great expense of the former, therefore the requirement to prioritise looking after oneself from time to time. i had hoped the word 'spot' might have indicated that i was talking about a priority or choice not a personal character formation! of course there are those of us who consistently prioritise the self at the expense of others, a malfeasance of which i am too often guilty.
in the middle of a growing family/demanding work life and coping with loss, it is all too easy to forget that you must take care of number one, or you will soon be little use to yourself or others.
i have just returned from a gig which i posted in concert hall on the sax thread and i must say i feel great, went with daughter who also enjoyed it. everyone needs more of this kind of feeling.
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thompson1780
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« Reply #26 on: 23:42:12, 08-03-2007 » |
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Rob,
Glad you came back. I had a sneaking suspiscion that you just needed a bit of support when you started the Depression Thread and was worried when it all got a bit heavy. These things tend to have a life of their own when they are written by such varied and wonderful people!
Anyway, hope all's well now.
Tommo
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Made by Thompson & son, at the Violin & c. the West end of St. Paul's Churchyard, LONDON
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Tony Watson
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« Reply #27 on: 23:47:19, 08-03-2007 » |
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I love this thread too. It could almost be turned into a book. I've been trying to post something worthwhile to contribute but I'm being cautious. But I just wanted to say thank you for some very interesting messages and my thoughts are with those who are having or have had a rough time.
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Martin
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« Reply #28 on: 10:58:59, 09-03-2007 » |
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from calum da jazbo #11: As a psychologist i have ceased to view optimism as a state of mind or general outlook on life; for some happy few it is. For the rest of us it is a task at which we must become skilled [...] If it is a task, it requires skill and can be learned. I believe this is the essence of the cognitive therapies see Seligman 'Authentic Happiness'. Just catching up with this thread now. Calum, I would never have believed that proposition until the last 3-4 years when I have experienced it myself. As the result of some travel to some of the remoter parts of the UK I have met a whole new circle of friends with a much more positive outlook on life than I had encountered in all my years in a busy metropolis (with the exception of a few people). Sure they have the space and time to be more concerned for their fellow neighbours/friends, but this facet of their corporate or community personality has struck me as a model of how one might be. Returning to the busy-busy places, I find it's a skill I can practise. And it pays dividends in all one's relationships. |
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« Last Edit: 11:06:25, 09-03-2007 by Martin »
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calum da jazbo
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« Reply #29 on: 15:05:35, 09-03-2007 » |
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Your support for the cause is most welcome Martin, thank you.
A bright spot in a glummish days for me. Not miserable or moody, just flat, no energy or enthusisasm. The only gradient i feel like tackling is a gentle down slope to the sofa or even bed. I find this kind of state very hard to kick myself out of. It might be age related, i am past the days when my age began with a 5! I feel ok except for an intense press to remain inactive. Does any one else experience such states?
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It's just a matter of time before we're late.
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