Thanks George. It's just a matter now of getting used to and learning to live with the situation.   It's obviously going to be very raw for a while but I shall plod on as usual and remember him often and with love.  xxx

hugs, milliy.

Milly, I too have known and lost boxers (two of 'em) -- but I was wee and lacked perspective. Still, I feel your loss keenly. My sympathies.

Remember the happy times whenever you visit his site in the garden. No one will hold it against you if you chat with him once in a while!

BUGGER.

Well, on my front productionwise things have been the same (that is to say, I've done nothing) since last I spoke of this topic.  However I spoke to various people who were tremendously understanding (insofar as I might expect them to be) and reassuring.  One of them, a friendly educational psychologist, suggested that I set up a support group for PhD students (there are many already apparently).  So that was What I Was Working On.  And many people expressed an interest in joining such a group.  And I had set the first meeting for 2 today.

And I slept through it.

I must have either reflexively turned off my phone (unlikely) or it broke somewhere between my heading off for a few-hours' shut eye at 10 and my waking at half-two.  And I had left everyone's phone-numbers in my office (well only two people were able to make it today, as term doesn't start 'til next week, but that's a non-point).

So I've booked an appointment with my doctor for next Monday, and am probably going to take up his previous (and recommend by him, as well as by a maths lecturer/tutor I spoke to who knows me reasonably well) about taking a course of anti-depressants to get me back in order.  I frankly hate the idea.  But there's bugger all else I can think of doing.

Now to apologize to these people.

(and why am I talking of it here? because the last time I talked about stuff with my actual friends, they rather assumed it was just "increpatio doing crazy stuff again" and very soon exactly half of everybody I know in real life knew of what I had been going through (which in principle I'm okay with), only with the impression that I didn't take it too seriously (which I'm not)).

AND: Milly; good to here from you about Alfie.

You'll laugh about sleeping through it later on - dine out on it in fact.  Sorry to hear you are so depressed and glad you have taken steps to sort this out.  Nobody minds you voicing any problems hereabouts - that's what this thread is for after all.  I wish you well. 

Alfie was laid to rest this afternoon as I planned.  I was most impressed with the lovely little carved wooden casket they put him in.  It had a brass long-stemmed rose on the front and a little plaque on the side with his name and date of death.  They also sent a certificate to say that "the beloved pet" of.....well...me....had been individually cremated and therefore confirming that this was indeed my dog.  My friend and I were both distraught when we collected him from the vet and I'm afraid we upset the receptionist so much that when I asked for the bill she couldn't do it for tears and in the end said she'd put it in the post.  When we got home, the gardener dug a little grave and a friend of mine and I laid him in with one of his squeaky toys and a fresh rose from the garden.  There's a stone angel on there for now that someone had given me some time ago, but I'm going to plant a little rose bush there.  I've put a solar lantern next to the grave and there's another one across the garden where Bruno is.

So that's the end of a truly wonderful era and another chapter in Milly's life.  I'm going to keep him as my avatar if nobody minds. 

Why should we mind Milly? I was hoping you'd want to keep him as your avatar, he's lovely.
Thank you for your latest post. I'm sorry you were so upset but that is inevitable. At least that trauma is over now.

When you're ready to, it would be nice to see some more pictures of Alfie posted here. Didn't you once post a picture of him in the bath? I'd like to see that again.

MJ
xx

I don't remember posting any of him in the bath, but here are three of my favourites.  He's a bit older in these than the avatar pic and greyer round the muzzle, but still very handsome.