I know there are a couple of dedicated Xmas threads out there already, but I thought it might be nice to have a place where we can post Xmas-oriented waffle over the festive period: the trials, the joys, the prezzies, the relatives, the calories. And Xmas wishes, too.

I'm going to start merely by wishing those who have already left to visit their rellies (like Richard and increpatio) the happiest and most spiritually fulfilling time, if they are able to log on!

Oh, and to ask why it's ok to give some kids (over 5, say) money for Xmas and not others - according to the respective parents...? 

Butcher-related activites?  Don't ask, I have asked for closure but the incident is clouded in mystery according to Aunt Minnie

I got on at mo Finley Quaye, I think John Wright would love it

Happiest thoughts to all those nestling within the bosom of their families, and those about to be non-nestled, us Bridget Jones', about to be eaten by Alsatians, we salute you!"

Dearest Baz.

You know I love you dearly and I send you love and kissex xxxx

Can awful Xmas jokes be posted here?

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
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The Elfabet.
 

Martle - some parents think giving money is a) unimaginative and b) makes kids greedy and grasping. In my experience, children love getting it, though!

Since, in my experience, today's kids are mostly unimaginative, greedy and grasping, surely money is the very best Christmas present to give them? Why waste time decadently seeking a lesser alternative?

Baz

Well, Mary, all I know is that at 'that' age - let's say between 5 and 11 - money was what I most wanted. The only snag was not being able to spend it immediately thanks to Xmas closures. But a friend of the family liked to 'slip' us 50p - a lot of buying power in those days - and nothing excited me more! Of course, this was on the assumption that our parents would let us spend the ill-gotten gains as we wished. I guess my point is that some parents don't allow that.

The 12 Days Of Christmas (For the politically correct)


On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to
me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
from enslaved Bovines,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowls producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw
red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge
have been reintroduced to their native habitat.  To avoid further
Animal enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.