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Author Topic: EMBARRASSING, CRINGE-WORTHY TITLES  (Read 4447 times)
ahinton
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« Reply #105 on: 17:24:37, 31-08-2007 »

I only said "gosh"...
(...are you still not really here?...)
Best,

Alistair
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richard barrett
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« Reply #106 on: 17:31:06, 31-08-2007 »

I'm surprised Mijnheer Derks hasn't yet regaled this thread with a few titles from the worklist of his unfeasibly prolific compatriot Chiel Meijering. Maybe he's too embarrassed. Here are a few chosen more or less at random:

Orang-utan (off his onion) for violin and piano
How to make love to a woman for 3 guitars
De geur blijft hangen for 3 guitars and orchestra (The smell lingers on)
Een paard met 5 poten for 4 recorders (A horse with 5 legs)
De neusgaten van Sophia Loren for ensemble (The nostrils of...)
Mogadon for orchestra
I've never seen a straight banana for ensemble
How is your stiff neck today? for electric guitar and piano

I just finished copying out a page of flute music so I thought I deserved a break.
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #107 on: 17:34:06, 31-08-2007 »

Quite right, Richard - all those bloody leger-lines can really take it out of you, eh?  Wink
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
-  Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
ahinton
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« Reply #108 on: 17:57:08, 31-08-2007 »

I'm surprised Mijnheer Derks hasn't yet regaled this thread with a few titles from the worklist of his unfeasibly prolific compatriot Chiel Meijering. Maybe he's too embarrassed. Here are a few chosen more or less at random:

Orang-utan (off his onion) for violin and piano
If you pay peanuts to the performers, do you get monkeys?
How to make love to a woman for 3 guitars
Well, I suppose that even that is better than ditto WITH three guitars (I can see how painful that might be if one is not extremely careful)
De geur blijft hangen for 3 guitars and orchestra (The smell lingers on)
Are you sure that's not actually by Miasmakovsky?
Een paard met 5 poten for 4 recorders (A horse with 5 legs)
I daresay that the 5th one is a kind of equestrian equivalent to a spare tyre.
De neusgaten van Sophia Loren for ensemble (The nostrils of...)
Written with great flare, no doubt.
Mogadon for orchestra
...no, I'd better not write what immediately came to mind there...
I've never seen a straight banana for ensemble
A very ap-peel-ing work, no doubt; is the ensemble made up only of Fyffes?
How is your stiff neck today? for electric guitar and piano
That one's quite interesting; I cannot immediately think of another example of a work whose title actually addresses the solo instrument personally.

I suppose that the sheer extent and scope of these examples identifies the particular persuasion of inventing embarrassing, cringe-worthy titles for pieces of music as a matter of principle.

I just finished copying out a page of flute music so I thought I deserved a break.
Well earned, I'm sure!

Best,

Alistair
« Last Edit: 07:32:08, 01-09-2007 by ahinton » Logged
richard barrett
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« Reply #109 on: 19:09:32, 31-08-2007 »

Quite right, Richard - all those bloody leger-lines can really take it out of you, eh?  Wink
Too bloody right, Reiner, though perhaps I should explain that it's written in a kind of tablature, this being the only way I could work out of getting it down on paper, because it consists pretty much entirely of microtonal intervals and glissandi derived directly from flute fingerings, so that the latter give a more accurate indication of what pitch (and of course timbre) is intended than any system of home-made accidentals could... well I could go on...



This piece doesn't, by the way, have an embarrassing and cringeworthy title because it doesn't have any title at all at the moment. I am scanning this thread daily for inspiration.
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stuart macrae
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« Reply #110 on: 19:14:52, 31-08-2007 »

Can you show us what the tablature looks like, Richard?
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richard barrett
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« Reply #111 on: 20:08:04, 31-08-2007 »

Can you show us what the tablature looks like, Richard?
If you're interested, I shall endeavour to do so once I've got to the point of being sure about it. (I'll have to scan it in because I still use ancient technology for writing music down.) Basically, above the stave showing the resultant pitches (to the nearest eighth-tone), there's a nine-line stave divided into three (left thumb, left fingers, right fingers), on whose lines there might be "closed" or "open" noteheads or a few other possibilities - half-open, for the keys with rings, square noteheads for the trill keys and note names for the right fourth finger keys. The difference between this and just notating fingerings in one of the usual ways is that there's only a notehead (or whatever) where that finger actually moves (except at the beginning of each system, where the full fingering is given), which makes the whole thing look much less cluttered than it would be otherwise, especially when there are lots of notes (and the music is so structured that, in general, the faster it gets, the fewer finger-movements per note are involved); it's also easier to specify how glissandi are to be fingered.

Well, nobody needs to see it now, probably.
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stuart macrae
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« Reply #112 on: 20:21:02, 31-08-2007 »

Thanks Richard, very clear explanation! I ask because I was trying things out on the flute (my first instrument) the other day. I actually gave up because of exactly the notational complexity you are trying to avoid. I'll try and resist the temptation to nick your idea...

Now you just have to think of an "EMBARRASSING, CRINGE-WORTHY TITLE" to make my question on-topic: how about
I still use ancient technology for writing music down...?  Wink
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MT Wessel
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« Reply #113 on: 20:25:55, 31-08-2007 »

Title Richard ? Hows about  "A Good Fingering " or something similar.
« Last Edit: 21:02:51, 31-08-2007 by MT Wessel » Logged

lignum crucis arbour scientiae
ahinton
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« Reply #114 on: 20:57:19, 31-08-2007 »

This piece doesn't, by the way, have an embarrassing and cringeworthy title because it doesn't have any title at all at the moment. I am scanning this thread daily for inspiration.
Please don't stop scanning this thread, as you can always be relied upon to contribute something useful and/or amusing thereto - but PLEASE don't do so with a view to finding a piece title; wouldn't that be self-defeating?

Best,

Alistair
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ahinton
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« Reply #115 on: 21:02:15, 31-08-2007 »

(I'll have to scan it in because I still use ancient technology for writing music down.)
By that, do I assume you to mean that funny old stuff called pens, inks, papers and all that? How incredibly antediluvian! Just like me! Someone (either the composer or someone else) can always "translate" what one does into Finalius afterwards, after all...

Basically, above the stave showing the resultant pitches (to the nearest eighth-tone), there's a nine-line stave divided into three (left thumb, left fingers, right fingers), on whose lines there might be "closed" or "open" noteheads or a few other possibilities - half-open, for the keys with rings, square noteheads for the trill keys and note names for the right fourth finger keys. The difference between this and just notating fingerings in one of the usual ways is that there's only a notehead (or whatever) where that finger actually moves (except at the beginning of each system, where the full fingering is given), which makes the whole thing look much less cluttered than it would be otherwise, especially when there are lots of notes (and the music is so structured that, in general, the faster it gets, the fewer finger-movements per note are involved); it's also easier to specify how glissandi are to be fingered.

Well, nobody needs to see it now, probably.
On the contrary, I think that everyone does! And I take back my comment about someone else typesetting one's pen-and-ink work, for this would seem to be a massive challenge for anyone other than the composer (or, indeed, even for the composer) in the context that you detail above. Just out of curiosity, do you play the flute yourself?

Best,

Alistair
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richard barrett
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« Reply #116 on: 00:59:22, 01-09-2007 »

Someone (either the composer or someone else) can always "translate" what one does into Finalius afterwards, after all...
They could, especially if they were Aaron, who's a virtuoso at this kind of thing, but I prefer the scores as they are.

Quote
Just out of curiosity, do you play the flute yourself?
Er, up to a point, that is I know how to play it, I just can't really do it myself to any great extent, though I do have one to aid me in my researches.

Title Richard ? Hows about  "A Good Fingering " or something similar.
Mustn't forget that there's also blowing involved.
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MT Wessel
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« Reply #117 on: 01:59:31, 01-09-2007 »

Quote
Just out of curiosity, do you play the flute yourself?
Er, up to a point, that is I know how to play it, I just can't really do it myself to any great extent, though I do have one to aid me in my researches.
Your very lucky Richard. Do you know any piccolo players with a GSOH ?
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lignum crucis arbour scientiae
Chafing Dish
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« Reply #118 on: 05:41:22, 01-09-2007 »

Blattwerk... Flechtwerk... Dampfwerk?

Doesn't sound right, though.
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ahinton
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« Reply #119 on: 07:31:17, 01-09-2007 »

Someone (either the composer or someone else) can always "translate" what one does into Finalius afterwards, after all...
They could, especially if they were Aaron, who's a virtuoso at this kind of thing, but I prefer the scores as they are.
So you leave your work in handwritten form, then? Well, that's what I've always done too and, since I've been too much of a - er - what's the term - ah, yes - "lazy git" - to master Finalius myself, I'm just fortunate when someone takes it upon him/herself to process a score into one of those programmes.

Title Richard ? Hows about  "A Good Fingering " or something similar.
Mustn't forget that there's also blowing involved.
[/quote]
Ah, yes, indeed - Opening of the Mouth then, perhaps? (unless for any reason it had to be Son of... ditto, which really wouldn't do...).

Alternatively, of course, there's always Blow by Blow Account (except that this might lead some people into thinking that the piece is by Blow); I'm afraid that I'll have to charge you my usual fee of sodall if you decide to use that but, since it's you, I'll give you a decent discount...

Best,

Alistair
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