No, I know it's not a remotely amusing story, but as an example of the sort of lengths to which defendants and lawyers will go in court, this, from the BBC news website, takes some beating:
Loyalist killer Michael Stone has been found guilty of trying to murder Sinn Fein's Martin McGuinness and Gerry Adams at Stormont in November 2006.
He was also convicted of seven other charges, including possession of weapons and explosive devices.
Stone had denied the charges, claiming the incident was performance art.
However, a judge at Belfast Crown Court said this was "wholly unconvincing".
Really?