Then I will only say it's good to hear that, increpatio, and leave it at that. All best

And I agree with you about the more general points you make. The dangers that Ian very rightly drew attention to are certainly there all right but they also exist in the "real" world of personal relationships and contacts. The impermeable barrier, marking the prison none of us can ever hope to escape from, is the one between 'us' (er, singular) and everyone else, whatever the means of communication and however intimate we may be. The other distinctions are matters of degree. But within that, Ian is of course right, the opportunities for dissimulation and for picking up false clues are much greater in 'cyberspace' and what we believe people whom we meet there are 'really' like has to be even more tentative than if we have shared a tent with them for a month or wall-papered a room together.  

 

Byron, when grown-ups are discussing serious matters it starts to become tiresome when a child who has no understanding of the depth or sincerity of the comversation keeps barging in saying 'LOOK at ME, LOOK at ME!!'. It appears that to all intents and purposes that you are behaving in the same way on this thread, and that people have been trying to tell you this for some time, but that you have either chosen ignore them or otherwise just don't have the ability to understand their subtlety.

 Some while back, when Rob G was explaining his troubles in a thread that was a precursor to this, you offended him to such a point that withdrew the thread and never returned. Your interjections have no earthly point in this thread whatsoever, and far from helping anybody talk through their problems are simply silly annoyances.

 If you can't take subtler hints from the nice people, then I feel it's time you had a heavier one from someone else. Hasn't it ever struck you that most people on these board think very hard about what they post? Thoughts that take paragraphs and paragraphs, not just a few words strung together and laced with emoticons. If you'd even just consider for a moment the implications behind what you post, and the effect that they're likely to have on others, then the chances are not only that you'd post less, but that you might be answered more.

Please leave the emotional relationship stuff to those who have an experience and understanding of it.

I'd be more inclined to think such rigid codes are more for ensuring efficiency of communication (for a certain type of information...)    Without any especial reason.

That point certainly resonates with me, other than the "class" part of it; sorry to say that, Ian, but I fear that the problem that you rightly identify here is one that transcends any perceived "class" boundaries and, whilst applying by no means universally, of course, can nevertheless be encountered in Britons of any class and none.

I think that, as far as the rest of this goes, you and I, George, increpatio and others are very largely in agreement and the only differences are relatively minor (damn! - done it again!) ones of emphases rather than anything more fundamental.

As for the virtuosically unhelpful remarks of the ignoble "Lord" in this thread, they are surely too contemptibly insensitive to deserve comment.

Best,

Alistair

 So that was why my wine turned into cod liver oil last night. Cripes!

Lord Byron is from the planet rdvveweg.  He's a rdvvewegian - and in English that is pronounced like a word that rhymes with class.....

Tommo

Byron, get Ron free? (sorry, Mr Dough, for that unwitting importunity)...

Best,

Alistair