Hi T-P
Your post is familiar to myself also - i go through periods where i can hear a favourite piece of music without it having the magical effect it has in the past - but then couple of days later listening to the same music makes me on fire again.
Before i knew this board i thought my musical knowledge was very wide ranging but reading many of the posts on here realize there is much i dont know - but surely the joy of discovering music not heard before is a thing to rejoice in !!

T-p, there are times when we just know we've had enough of one thing for the moment: it can be people, food, drink, music, travelling, staying at home: whatever it is, we just feel saturated. Every now and then most of us need a break from what we usually do, just to find ourselves again. It often feels strange, because we're aware that things are somehow different, and we become worried because of this difference. But I'll bet that virtually everybody on this board has gone through something similar occasionally: I certainly do. It's wretched when it's happening, but I've come to see it as a necessary part of development: just as when a crab sheds its shell and has to hide away until the new outside has toughened up - once that phase has passed it's stronger, more resilient.

You have obviously been feeling under pressure for some time, and this shut-down is just the you inside trying to find the right level to start rebuilding. It doesn't need much outside stimulation, it's going to build from within. So don't worry about not wanting to listen to certain things - it's just like an over-full stomach telling you to lay off too much food (especially rich food) so that it cab re-establish normality without too much external stimulation.

All these things take their own time: we have no control over how long it will be. But just as suddenly as feeling that you can't cope with any of the things that meant so much, you'll suddenly find that you want to start experiencing things again.

I've said before, and I'll say again (and probably again and again) that just a little bit of walking every day can help to get things moving: the weather's starting to get better(ish), so you should be able to stroll round the block or a bit further. You're not far from the sea, are you? Can you go and walk along the shore? The sound of waves is a great way to clear out those stale silences inside your head. Or a stream, or open country with birdsong - things to get you to use your ears without actually having to think of the sounds as music. Allow yourself as much you-time as you can, but not in your usual surroundings. Just somewhere peaceful that's easy to get to.

Take care of yourself,

Ron

Hi t-p,

I can only applaud and echo what Ron in particular has said and send another hug for your growing collection... 

I know a little bit of music (not that much really, especially of what's not classical) but I don't really ever force myself to listen to any (unless I really have to for professional reasons but that's a quite different matter). Even if one of our dear fellow boarders is recommending something very strongly I don't listen to it unless something inside is telling me to. I'll never know all the music anyway and there's no point forcing it down my own throat, so to speak.

A little time without it will do the trick, I'm sure...

Thank you so much for your support.
May be I am too honest with my post and beg your forgiveness.

I like that comparison with a crab very much. I am late developer and go through things later than normal people.

Strange thing that it is so helpful to tell people on this board. I feel much calmer and positive. In fact I feel my interest to musi is returning as I speak. I hope you forgive me because I was struggling with many issues for such a long time.
My post came out unexpectedly. When you say what you think aloud and hear people response you can see where you were wrong.

You are really wonderful people here. I love you all.

I don't know why I put so much pressure on myself. I felt overwhelmed with chasing new (for me) things (books, music, performers). It is just realization of one's limitations.
One can not be a perfect teacher (especially with every student), be patient, give each what he need. The amount of patience required for not musical students with no interest is huge. One student can drain you in 30 min.


On the other hand I have to be humble because my abilities are very small compared to real musicians. If I am put in this situation that means it has to be.

Also at the same time to expect to be a perfect performer and perfect scholar, not to forget house keeper, friend etc, etc, etc.

There were so many contradictions going on inside.

However, I do feel much better after I read your posts. I am more in peace and I see that I was wrong with the way my thoughts were going.

  Good night now. I wish you all good restful night.

As I've posted here before, I suffered a spell of depression some years ago. While I was ill, I completely lost interest in music, I didn't listen to anything. That was probably the most disturbing thing for me as music of all sorts fills my life normally. However my interest did re-surface - or I wouldn't be posting here now! So, even if your loss of interest is similar to mine, don't despair t-p! xxxx

I'm transferring that wholesale to the poetry appreciation thread; hope no one minds.

And best wishes from me, too, tp.

My love to you too t-p....it will pass, it sounds like you need a rest, it is easy to "burn-out" when you are intense and passionate.

Mary, I hope your joy comes back to you soon.

xx Jan xx