"Presumably though, nobody else had noticed the man to begin with either, otherwise they would have said something?  It sounds like he might have been a lost cause to start with anyway if they think he died at the wheel.  I should think there's a reason why it happened the way it did, somewhere in the grand scheme of things."

No, they had noticed him but obviously hadn't felt able to do anything about it.  The woman that shouted at me for my efforts in rescuing the dog knew he was there.

I should think he probably was a lost cause.  CPR isn't always effective anyway.  I've never personally seen anyone start breathing with just that - it seems to always need a defibrillator.  All you're really doing with CPR is keeping everything oxygenised to a degree till help arrives.  Also, I would be very dubious about beginning it after the brain had been starved of oxygen for some minutes.  You have to think about the repercussions.  The family wouldn't want you to bring back a "vegetable" for the rest of his life.

All the same, it did look as though I was putting the dog first - which of course I wouldn't have done had I realised.  My next door neighbour at the time, who is still a very good friend, still occasionally ribs me about the occasion.  He seems to be able to see a funny side which I have to say does escape me.

Like "the grand scheme of things".  An understanding of that escapes me too.  God certainly moves in mysterious ways.

I remember (as much as I do anything) a Jewish parable about a boy who was eaten by a bear. When the villagers asked the nearest prophet why such a thing should happen to an innocent child, he told them that God knew the child's future and was sparing him from growing up to become an unspeakably wicked monster.

I don't remember any Jewish parables about why God allows some people to grow up to become unspeakably wicked monsters though.

Much sympathy Mort.  I think you're very courageous to do the job you do. 

Thanks for that Milly. The job's fine, it's just the aftermath that can be a bit difficult sometimes. She was just so young. I know but life isn't fair but ...

Ron, just seen your post. Yes, of course all your observations are right and, no, she wouldn't have wanted anyone to dread this but that feeling is almost unavoidable. I suppose it's seeing the pain that her friends will be feeling that makes my heart sink. Thank God that her pain is over, it's the pain of the living that can be difficult to witness.

Oh, Mort, I do sympathise. It's so easy to feel you have to take on responsibility for other people's pain as well as dealing with your own sadness at her loss. I hope the occasion will be one where you can say goodbye in your own way, as others will in theirs.

Mort,

I hope the funeral goes well and is more thankful than grief-ridden.  Remember our thoughts are with you.

Tommo

Well done Mort.   

I agree with the bit about mourning the loss as is their right.  I remember when I was bereaved, people would try and stop me grieving.  I wish I had £1 for every time someone earnestly said - "Now he wouldn't want you to be upset would he?"  Honestly!!!  Whilst obviously that would be a true statement, what on earth did people expect?  I'm hardly going to pick myself up, dust myself down and say "Right then - that's that, so time to move on.  Mustn't get upset."
It just isn't realistic.

I hope you are feeling ok Morticia.
I always bless people like you (and Jan).