No, no Ruby! They have chosen to make use of a facility which is quite convenient to them, that also involves maximum inconvenience to me. Pure cat behaviour Bonus points to both of them If I was at my old place it would be the airing cupboard. On top of the newly washed stuff

Ah, my mistake.  Please apologise to them on my behalf - I've done them a disservice. 

Generally when I'm away my cat sleeps on the nice comfy computer chair in the studio/ spare room thingy.  Of course now if I'm there and using it he gets quite wound up.  I've been known to perch on the end so that he can sit behind me.  Why do we do this?  Why???

Ouch. 

There are strange feline-related things going on in my back garden, and I'd be grateful for some help in cracking the code.

We don't have a cat.  However, our next-door neighbours have Harry, an elderly, very fat and extremely laid back moggie who treats our garden as part of his territory.  He has a favourite spot, underneath a large fatsia, where he likes to sit and survey his kingdom.  It's a bit close to the bird feeders but the birds seem to have worked out that he's too old, slow and well-fed to bother them. It's generally nice to have him about the place, even if he does exude an indefinable air of regarding us as his tenants.

More recently, a younger, more active cat which has just moved in across the road has been making appearances in our garden.  It's tried to come into the house a couple of times, but I've chased it off.  At the weekend, the newcomer sidled up to our back door and dropped a dead mouse on the step.  I have heard that such gifts are signs of occupation of territory but I wouldn't know. I do know that I could have done without clearing it up.

So, any clues as to what is happening here?  Is this the circle of life, with the older cat being forced to surrender his territory to the brash newcomer? 

All clues gratefully received.

Lots of bangs just now, though there seem to have been far fewer firworks in the run up to November 5th than in previous years - or perhaps I've not noticed them so much. Pixie has got off her armchair and is sitting on the floor at the side of it, I hope she's not frightened, I've been giving her some strokes but I've got to go out and leave her alone soon

Oh yes - the bangs! Well, with each passing bang is merely announced yet another expression of an ignorant "not wanting to know or learn" exactly why November 5th is even commemorated. Ask an American why July 4th is celebrated and you'll get an answer that means something. But ask anybody on the streets of GB exactly why they make all this din and light up the skies on November 5th and they look at you as though you are stupid!

"Penny for the Guy" they used to say! But the use of the definite article betrays their complete ignorance of the existence of anybody actually called "Guy".

Mention the date 1605 to them, and they just wonder what ridiculous planet you must have come from.

Still there is one superb consolation: every time you hear that silly "bang" you know that the person who perpetrated it has lost another quid!

Baziron 

Now I was under the impression that this was uttered when collecting funds for the construction of an effigy of the said Fawkes (that being 'the Guy') for the purpose of incinerating it.

Was I mistaken about this as about so much else?