Thanks Milly, Mort and Lord Byron (Dont worry M'lord, I LIKE your take on life...)

Yes, it's awful,the pain, the expense, the torture.. and I'm worried sick about the outlook for my X, who is irrational, depressed and generally behaving like:



He's making off with half my house and £50k pay off in lieu of my hard earned pension... so I suppose I shouldn't worry,but you know what these 14 yr olds are like with a bit of money in their pocket.

My trip is about grieving, you're right girls, it is a type of bereavement.

You're right too Byron, I will pull myself together and get off to some concerts with new boy...(who has agreed to buy the campervan, by the way, another reason to be joyful).

Onward and upward, eh?
x Jan x

Have a good time Janthefan. I too wish to say something smart, but I can't.

Have a good time in Greece. This is going to be a new beginning for you. My mother got married when she was 74. I did not think it is  possible in my age, leave alone her. However, she is married now for a few years. Many things are possible in this world.

I like to see Greece. I love the place from hearing about it.


There is a poem: we will still be happy, we will laugh, catch the ball (This is my free translation).

I wish you to be happy.

This is good philosophy, Lord Byron.
I like this: avoid people you don't like. I am trying to do it too.
Some times it is not easy to avoid because they go to the same places you go to.
However, it is a good philosophy: mind your business and avoid people that get on your nerves.

This one is one I did put on t-p, it looks as though it may last a couple of days , we'll see!!

A

May be your avatar is A fiddler on the roof.
He will solve all problems.

Well, yes.  I don't believe you can easily change people.  I'm sure you can do it, with a lot of hard work.  (I personally am a very different person from when I was a teenager, thanks mainly to a violin teacher - for the better (I hope), I hasten to add!)  Anyway, there's a whole load of ethics about whether you should (who's to say that you shouldn't change instead of them?)

Anyway, sometimes links between people are very deep and 'avoiding' is also very difficult.  So, sometimes you do need to at least help the other person change their outlook - or their reaction to the situation they are in.

One of the Happy things for this room is that people are so fantastically adaptable deep down.  Occasionally we each might need some help in getting back to that deep inner self, but when we do, it's very rare that we're in a situation where our inner self cannot shine.

Sorry - waffled.  Basically, I am saying don't always rely on avoiding things.  The world would become a very polarised, stagnant and lonely place if we did.

Cheers

Tommo

yay! the TalkTalk advert has gone!