Mary, you could try an independent boiler service Corgi engineer, for 50 quid he could atleast check/fix the piliot light, maybe.

Our boiler is 20 years old and a few years ago it survived a move from the kitchen to the garage, and all the re-connection of water and central heating pipes that that involved. The Corgi engineer is a good family friend, and I suppose that always is a good thing, he wouldn't rip us off and would not deceive us as to what was needed because we recommend him to friends.

The boiler move cleared the way for a major kitchen re-fit and freed up some nice cupboard space there (not a big kitchen, you can't have 3 people working it it at once which is/was fine by me as my wife and daughter get on with it...  ) Oh and the boiler move cost £500, yeah it is quite a lot but as you can imagine quite a tricky job, took him a day to do.

Thankfully the boiler has continued to work well. I had concerns that it might blow up in the garage! There's no car in the garage, but there is all my vinyl and shellac nicely shelved in there.....

Sympathies, Mary. I'm also in the middle of a boiler slough of despond. Man with wrench (plus assistant to eat the biscuits) has been twice so far at a cost of £xxx and the ruddy thing has stopped working again. So no hot water (or heating) and I seem to be paying enough for a new boiler already. Grump, grump.

While I'm grumping ... Man with ladder (plus assistant TETBS) supposedly repaired roof the other week at a cost of £xxx and it still leaks. Grumpety grump.

Oh and my phone is plagued with a loud crackling noise which makes conversation impossible but long distance robot from BT says there's nothing wrong with the line. Bought new phone but it crackles just as much. Grumpety grumpety grump. Human being from BT coming on Monday to look at it. I just KNOW it's going to stop crackling for the hour he is here and I will be charged a £BTMortsworth just to be back where I started. Crackle, crackle grump.

They all seem terribly nice though. Maybe I just have a large sign on my forehead that says 'Please fleece me. Won't bite back'.

I comfort myself though with the thought that that's my three, so nothing else will go wrong.

Oh dear, George They'll probably tell you that the socket needs replacing (that seems to be their response to everything now because it's a nice little earner ) The good news is that the awful crackling stopped when my socket was replaced. Didn't make me view the bill in a more tranquil state of mind though

Shall I come to Snorbans, stand on your doorstep and give the BT chap a very stern stare indeed, before he unleashes his toolbox?

Send the R3ok boards cavalry in!!!

For some reason adjacent new office to my day kennel for the summer has BT signal disrupted by alarm direct kine, cue about 45 test calls on duty phone Fridat afternoon from muffled indecipherable voice message,  press '8' followed by pre-recorded lontano highlights of  colleagues trying various connection gambits.

Meanwhile GRRRR to whoever nicked my mobile in West End tonight and obnoxious yuppie offspring spilling over pavements in WC2, who may be connected to same. Disappointed not to have made it to Friday fest, Mort-like sundry issues, but I will waved away my hassles by the next one.

That's a bizarre coincidence, my other half has recently had a collection of very similar problems, althought the phone problem was that it just stopped working altogether.

My sympathy - I've seen the frustration that that trio of hassle causes! 

They are malevolent - well, my garage roof is. It hates me. Whatever's done to it, and however much it costs, it still leaks, especially at the moment with the incredibly heavy rain we keep getting.

I hate coathangers for exactly the same reason.  I have no patience with them - I'll tangle with them for approximately 0.8 of a second before my fuse blows and I growl, rattle them and throw them across the room.  They're an achilles.... er... coathanger.

Has my avatar disappeared folks? Only I can't see it at the moment, wondering if it's just me.