Is this you MJ? 

No, this is me:

Stilts are so handy when you're only 5 foot 1.

Can't resist posting this book cover I saw today - perhaps all the aliens should head for Manchester Art Gallery?

Braces?

How do they know that no one ever wore those psychedelic knickers? And who on earth, after being disappointed buying an item of underwear, decides to give it to a museum?

I can just imagine the scene: "I bought these knickers from Marks and Spencer's yesterday but I don't like them so I thought you'd like to put them on display in a glass cabinet in your museum, next to the ancient Egyptian section."

Badger looked mournfully into his pint of Snakebite at the Tapas Bar whilst toying with a deep fried earthworm.

"Wassup with you?" enquired Sharon the barmaid.

"Oh I dunno, that Stoat, she do have cooked me lovely meals, right tidy they are, but truth be told, I'd rather 'ave a a bacon sarnie, no ketchup, but some home made mayonnaise, finely chopped cornichons and scallions and a garnish of watercress."

"You do know that when you do have had a couple of snakebites you turn very Welsh" observed Sharon.

"I may do, but it is because it is in my blood my Lovely, My Taid was down the Pandy Colliery, in charge of the canaries he were, but he ate more of them than wot ever went down the shaft.  Scandal, it was, plastered all over the front of the Rhondda Cynon Taff Herald, it did  for him and his family  and we had to move away.  Acquitted he was but then there was the Grand Larcency trial.  And now I am landed up in England with a thieving Stoat of dubious parentage!"

Badger sniffed and wiped his eyes "Ere, Sharon, don't you think I am a dead ringer for Bryn Terfel? Get the karaoke on, I is about to launch into 'Going Home' and you can be me Katherine Jenkins (if you play your cards right!) he leered.

"Ere, everyone's talking about the size of their knickers, wot happened to brassicas? Personally I wear thongs, doesn't everyone?" asked Badger, suddenly coming awake.

You're just being tantalisingly provocative now A!

What shall I dream about tonight?

Just to put the other side across, in the first two years of secondary school, we boys were not allowed to wear anything under our shorts for games or PE. We mostly ignored the rule but occasionally the games teacher would announce that there would be an inspection. We had to form a queue and open up our shorts at the side for him to peer down and check we weren't wearing anything underneath.