By Sky News SkyNews - 1 hour 17 minutes ago
An MP has very nearly talked himself into supporting today's "Perverts Wear Purple" day - by accident.
And it could hardly have happened to a less likely politician: Ronnie Campbell, one of the most down-to-earth and decent men in the Commons.
The 64-year-old former miner and Labour Member of Parliament for Blyth Valley was approached and asked to wear something purple to support National Fetish Day. He said he would wear a purple shirt.
Unfortunately, no one had told Ronnie what the word "fetish" means.
He thought it meant "worry", rather than indulging in kinky/unusual sexual activities, often involving rubber, bondage, sado-masochism and the rest (assuming there's more!).
When local newspaper the Sunday Sun explained this to poor Ronnie, he said he thought the word meant: "Worry, like worrying about backing the wrong horse."
"Oh my God Almighty, my God, is that what a fetish is?" the astonished and no doubt highly-embarrassed MP exclaimed.
Before being told what the word means, Mr Campbell was asked if he had any fetishes.
Thinking it meant worries or concerns, he said: "I must have a thousand but, hand on heart, I couldn't tell which is the most important one. Probably the horses."
One of the event's organisers, who had approached Mr Campbell, goes by the pseudonym (or nom de guerre?) of "Pierced Knight" because he says to reveal his identity would ruin him professionally.
The National Fetish Day is part of a campaign against pornography laws.
Somebody please buy the member for Blyth Valley a dictionary!
