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Author Topic: Today's Humorous News Story  (Read 14553 times)
richard barrett
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« Reply #360 on: 22:07:54, 26-04-2008 »


The perfect gift to show you care!
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oliver sudden
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Posts: 6411



« Reply #361 on: 22:14:53, 26-04-2008 »

Of course we all know that LADIES never - oh, excuse me, the kettle's boiling.
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Turfan Fragment
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Posts: 1330


Formerly known as Chafing Dish


« Reply #362 on: 22:16:17, 26-04-2008 »

Pants are the word for trousers in the US.
Edit: Pants are the words for trousers in the US.
Edit again: Pant is the word for trouser in the US.
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time_is_now
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Posts: 4653



« Reply #363 on: 23:09:19, 26-04-2008 »

Pants are the word for trousers in the US.
Edit: Pants are the words for trousers in the US.
Edit again: Pant is the word for trouser in the US.
You sound confused Turfo. You haven't been at the gins and tonic(sHuh) again, have you?
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The city is a process which always veers away from the form envisaged and desired, ... whose revenge upon its architects and planners undoes every dream of mastery. It is [also] one of the sites where Dasein is assigned the impossible task of putting right what can never be put right. - Rob Lapsley
John W
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« Reply #364 on: 10:41:33, 27-04-2008 »

Pants are the word for trousers in the US.
Edit: Pants are the words for trousers in the US.
Edit again: Pant is the word for trouser in the US.

turf, let me put you out of your misery:

Pants is the word for trousers in the US.
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George Garnett
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Posts: 3855



« Reply #365 on: 11:11:40, 27-04-2008 »

Pants is the word for trousers in the US.

Respectfully, we beg to differ.

'Pants' is the word for trousers in the US.

(Why don't we call pants, or under-pants, 'under-trousers' in the UK Huh)

Vests on the other hand ...
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oliver sudden
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« Reply #366 on: 11:21:41, 27-04-2008 »

Of course not in the sense of "one of the key businessmen behind America's sub-prime mortgage crisis, Angelo Mozilo, trousered $132m (£66m) last year despite huge losses on unsustainable loans at his Countrywide Financial home-loans empire".
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time_is_now
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« Reply #367 on: 12:30:23, 27-04-2008 »

Panted $132m?
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The city is a process which always veers away from the form envisaged and desired, ... whose revenge upon its architects and planners undoes every dream of mastery. It is [also] one of the sites where Dasein is assigned the impossible task of putting right what can never be put right. - Rob Lapsley
oliver sudden
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Posts: 6411



« Reply #368 on: 13:11:13, 27-04-2008 »

Mate, I'd be panting pretty hard if I had to find room for that in my strides...  Wink
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Reiner Torheit
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WWW
« Reply #369 on: 13:18:27, 27-04-2008 »

, trousered $132m (£66m) last year

This presumably excludes him from the sans-culottes?
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
-  Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
oliver sudden
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« Reply #370 on: 13:23:00, 27-04-2008 »

, trousered $132m (£66m) last year

This presumably excludes him from the sans-culottes?
Even the interest on the interest would should exclude him his children and his children's children yea even unto the tenth generation from non-voluntary membership of the said class. Which is perhaps not in itself a problem. More the fact that his trousering has doubtless augmented said class.
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martle
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Posts: 6685



« Reply #371 on: 22:32:32, 30-04-2008 »

Hey! Farty Pants! Gotta love 'em!

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Green. Always green.
Turfan Fragment
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Posts: 1330


Formerly known as Chafing Dish


« Reply #372 on: 23:58:50, 30-04-2008 »

I am so glad that my computer reproduces images and sounds -- but not smells!

Whew!
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MT Wessel
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Posts: 406



« Reply #373 on: 20:42:58, 02-05-2008 »

The Daily Wessel 02.05.08

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7374317.stm

... The AC-DC Milan player  said "I've played the game for years but I certainly wasn't expecting that sort of tackle" ... Exclusive interview to be continued on pages 1 to 100 of The Sunday Wessel including a suprise pull out supplement and available at all bad newsagents for £ nudgenudgewinkwinknameyourpriceguv. Sad
« Last Edit: 21:44:39, 02-05-2008 by MT Wessel » Logged

lignum crucis arbour scientiae
Milly Jones
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Posts: 3580



« Reply #374 on: 12:28:28, 05-05-2008 »

Yes!  Let's get the problems correctly prioritised here!  Smiley

AFP - Monday, May 5 12:05 amLONDON (AFP) - Never mind the radiation: British contingency planners worried there would be a dramatic shortage of tea in the aftermath of a nuclear attack, recently declassified documents showed Monday.

The shortfall of the staple British beverage would be "very serious" if the country were to come under attack with atomic and hydrogen bombs, said according to a memo drafted between 1954 and 1956.

"The tea position would be very serious with a loss of 75 percent of stocks and substantial delays in imports and with no system of rationing it would be wrong to consider that even one ounce (28 grams) per head per week could be ensured," it said.

"No satisfactory solution has yet been found."

Another memo, written in April 1955, warned: "The advent of thermo-nuclear weapons ... has presented us with a new and much more difficult set of food defence problems."

The contingency planning documents listed a number of issues for discussion including arrangements to ensure stockpiles of food and the availability of bread, milk, meat, oils and fats, and tea and sugar.

The memos were among a number of documents released by the National Archives.

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We pass this way but once.  This is not a rehearsal!
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