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Author Topic: Today's Humorous News Story  (Read 14553 times)
John W
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« Reply #405 on: 12:51:22, 15-06-2008 »

Thank you pim.

As you no doubt know, pim, The Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005 no longer requires premises to have a fire certificate, giving the responsibility to the owners to just conduct a fire risk assessment and take the appropriate protective actions, without ever talking to a fire officer or a local authority officer. Some premises do require inspection etc but clearly our little Massage Parlour escapes such a requirement. Yet one must wonder how long it might take some of the customers to respond to an alert and indeed how safe they might be rushing past flames with their body drenched in flammable oil and in a very excited state!  Wink
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pim_derks
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« Reply #406 on: 16:26:47, 15-06-2008 »

As you no doubt know, pim, The Regulatory Reform (Fire Safety) Order 2005 no longer requires premises to have a fire certificate, giving the responsibility to the owners to just conduct a fire risk assessment and take the appropriate protective actions, without ever talking to a fire officer or a local authority officer.

Reading this brings tears to my eyes, John. Good to know that England is still a country where people are free. A thing like the Regulatory Reform Order would be impossible in a police state like the Netherlands. Things are even easier in Germany. Dutch people want to be free but they don't want to take risks: an unworkable situation.

(Not unworkable for me because our agency helps people who are having difficulties with the severe Dutch building and safety regulations.  Wink )

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"People hate anything well made. It gives them a guilty conscience." John Betjeman
MT Wessel
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« Reply #407 on: 16:39:44, 15-06-2008 »

..... your failed political inclinations.
Sad
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lignum crucis arbour scientiae
richard barrett
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« Reply #408 on: 16:52:25, 15-06-2008 »

..... your failed political inclinations.
Sad
Certainly political actions can fail, but I wonder if political inclinations (or any other inclinations) could ever be said to "fail".

The last time I remember reading the Morning Star was on the occasion of my only visit (to date, I suppose I should add) to a Mayfair gentlemen's club, while waiting for the appearance of the member who had invited me there for an appointment. I was quite surprised to see it there, but was told subsequently that its racing tips were second to none.
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John W
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« Reply #409 on: 22:12:03, 15-06-2008 »



Reading this brings tears to my eyes, John. Good to know that England is still a country where people are free. A thing like the Regulatory Reform Order would be impossible in a police state like the Netherlands.


Well pim, I was almost in tears on Thursday.

I was talking with a fireman who attended the warehouse fire at Atherstone-on-Stour, Warwickshire. Three of his colleagues died in that fire. The owners of the warehouse may never have looked at the fire act of 2005 as they may not have told the fire officers there was a mezzanine floor in there that could collapse on them.

All will be revealed eventually after the court case. I'll let you know the outcome, and I'll post the comments of the grieving families if you need to read them.

John W
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pim_derks
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« Reply #410 on: 23:00:52, 15-06-2008 »

I'm sorry to read about this, John.

I read on the internet that four firefighters died at that warehouse at Atherstone on Stour. That's really terrible. I also found many moving on-line condolences to the families and friends of the firemen.

We had a similar disaster in this country last month, although we still don't know what went so terribly wrong:

http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2008/05/memorial_march_for_dead_fireme.php

Mezzanine floors are often not counted among the overall floors of a building. Perhaps this fact could have been a possible cause of miscommunication in the Warwickshire disaster?
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"People hate anything well made. It gives them a guilty conscience." John Betjeman
John W
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« Reply #411 on: 23:51:24, 15-06-2008 »

Thanks pim.

I'm not involved with the case, I just happened to meet one of the attending firemen last week, he has another, full-time, job elsewhere. The inquiry is taking so long that there are likely more issues than just a warehouse without a proper fire risk assessment. Great tragedy, hardly appropriate for this thread  Undecided
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #412 on: 14:56:26, 16-06-2008 »

I do like this one.  Let's face it, it could have been much worse for the poor girl... Grin

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian man was arrested on suspicion of kidnapping his ex-girlfriend from a pub, taking her home and forcing her to iron his clothes and wash the dishes, police said on Monday.

The 43-year-old man dragged the woman out of a pub in the port city of Genoa, shoved her into a car and took her to his home where he made her iron and wash dishes after threatening her, they said.

Police arrived at his house after being tipped off by a friend of the woman who watched the scene at the pub.

The man, who was apparently furious at his ex-girlfriend for leaving him, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, police said.

(Writing by Deepa Babington)

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We pass this way but once.  This is not a rehearsal!
oliver sudden
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« Reply #413 on: 16:59:47, 16-06-2008 »

And then there's this...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2008/jun/16/householdbills.consumeraffairs
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Morticia
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« Reply #414 on: 09:20:03, 17-06-2008 »

Not exactly a news story but this piece by Alexandra Coren in The Grauniad on Saturday raised some loud chuckles here.

'Fleur Adcock's financial argument may be the one that deters most women, if it is true that we are all obsessed by shopping I NEED SOME FAGS.

According to a survey for Cosmopolitan magazine I'M OUT OF MILK, 74 per cent of British women between the ages of 19 and 45 think about shopping at least once a minute I FORGOT ASPIRINS. This, apparently, means that female thoughts about shopping are as frequent WHO USED THE LAST TEABAG? as male thoughts about sex.

The newspapers have had a field day with this theme BIN LINERS, analysing women's 'modern obsession' with shoes and handbags and illustrating the articles BOOK OF SECOND CLASS STAMPS with stills from Sex and the City.

Sadly, I suspect the truth is a lot more mundane.
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opilec
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« Reply #415 on: 19:03:14, 17-06-2008 »

I'm not sure that this is really humorous, but it made me laugh out loud ... and weep, too.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7358528.stm
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martle
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« Reply #416 on: 19:12:59, 17-06-2008 »

Weeping here mostly, opi.  Cry

Funnily enough (or maybe not), a discussion of very similar issues is currently underway at M&S:

http://musicandsociety.myforum365.com/index.php?topic=372.msg14780;topicseen#msg14780
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Green. Always green.
opilec
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« Reply #417 on: 19:23:35, 17-06-2008 »

Weeping here mostly, opi.  Cry

Funnily enough (or maybe not), a discussion of very similar issues is currently underway at M&S:

http://musicandsociety.myforum365.com/index.php?topic=372.msg14780;topicseen#msg14780
Cheers for the link, martle.
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Turfan Fragment
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Formerly known as Chafing Dish


« Reply #418 on: 06:24:19, 24-06-2008 »

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/mead_releases_new_grad_school

Quote
"Just think: If you are writing a dissertation on elements of thanatopsis and necromimesis as they relate to cacaesthesian themes of mid-20th-century Irish literature, do you really want your notebook lines to be more than seven millimeters apart?"
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perfect wagnerite
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« Reply #419 on: 22:32:03, 26-06-2008 »

In the "you couldn't make it up" category - the great Brighton Starbucks saga.

Starbucks was turned down for planning permission to open a new outlet in one of Brighton's trendier streets - but went ahead and opened it anyway.  It now has won a stay of execution by arguing that it is not a coffee shop - but a shop where people buy bags of coffee, mugs and sandwiches, which fall within the existing retail planning consent.

Council officers are now monitoring sales of each of the above to assess the veracity of this claim.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/generalnews/display.var.2365800.0.st_jamess_street_starbucks_not_a_coffee_shop.php

(But there's a serious point here about how big business can roll over local objections and get away with it)
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At every one of these [classical] concerts in England you will find rows of weary people who are there, not because they really like classical music, but because they think they ought to like it. (Shaw, Don Juan in Hell)
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