I'm reading all this with great interest and a fair bit of sympathy.  Although what I do is not in the conventional sense creative, I go through a similar sort of process in preparing technical reports and documents - it's always a fantastically rewarding experience when the disjointed bits of knowledge come together and one can produce a properly-structured and coherent piece of work. There's a real pleasure and sense of value in knowing that one has got on top of a difficult problem; it makes the grubbing around in between worthwhile, as well as reminding one that there's really no such thing as "useless" knowledge.

I just had to report some good news. I posted earlier in this thread about by agoraphobia and my problems with bridges and large interior spaces etc., and I've been having CBT for it over the last several months. Well, things gradually improved. But I haven't been able to drive over the Severn bridge for more than a year, despite numerous visits to Wales. Until yesterday! I did it! I did it! This may not seem eath-shattering news, but the Severn bridge was where I had my first severe panic attack, and so it holds a special place in my pantheon of no-go areas. In my mind it had become iconic of the condition. So, even though I wasn't 'comfortable', driving over it without having a fit of the willies yesterday felt like a massive achievement. (Next up, the Dartford Crossing  )

Thanks for listening, folks.

It may help (in my experience of these things) to take along if possible a passenger - some one with whom you are on close terms - so as a) simply to relax your attention and draw your mind off any situation which might otherwise arise, and b) to make/help you even feel a little bit ashamed of yourself for being a silly Billy (I'm not saying you are, just that that is what you should tell yourself). With luck you may even be able to "pull yourself together" from one day to the next - it IS possible and DOES happen! It is at bottom all just the "change of life" isn't it.

Martle, as one who can empathise with your 'willies' (I have a feeling I may regret posting that ), WELL DONE my man!! Give yourself several pats on the back. At this rate you'll be able to make the RAH In the meantime, have several of these ...

Andy, when I got to the Star Shop they told me that a gentleman had just been in and bought up the entire stock of green stars. I see they were right ...

Thanks very much, all!

Mrs K, I did in fact have a passenger, and yes it does help. But telling yourself you're being a 'silly billy' is precisely NOT what you should do, according to latest CBT thinking (with which, since it has worked spectacularly well in my own case, I am in full sympathy). The idea is not that you 'confront', but that you 'accept'. And you try to do this by accepting and accepting over and over again in precisely the situations in which the logical part of you would be telling yourself to pull your socks up. It's unlikely the condition will ever disappear entirely, but it becomes maneagable by being understood.

Martybabes,

Wonderful that someone has met one of life's challenges and upsets full on and given it a good spanking.  Onward and upward!

Very many congratulations

Tommo