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« Reply #1080 on: 20:10:01, 29-08-2008 » |
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Thanks Anty and Ron. I was alone today because of circumstances not important right here, and I went to Margate for the day. I walked along the sand, I ate chips in a crummy beach cafe and watched children building sand castles. It was great!! I have also been Oop North to see my elder daughter for a few days alone recently, that was very useful I agree. So I do try ! I think it floods over me occasionally , normally I can let it just tick over, but like a boil it bursts sometimes. it really isn't a kiss-it-better, wave a magic wand and it will all go away sort of situation, is it? It's a dig deep, "I'll blasted show'em what I'm made of, I can make this work" affair, and I think you know that, and realise that it's a tall order. You've that "I'm stuck at the bottom of this rock-face and I still can't see the way up" feeling, though I think Anty may have nailed it: a little distance, and standing further back, can help you see other ways of making that upward journey. Your comment Ron is absolutely right, I think I have to just 'Pick myself up dust myself down and start all over again' again ! Thank you for your concern and advice, I am surprised at the messages on and off the board... you are all most kind. A  |
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richard barrett
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« Reply #1082 on: 21:13:43, 29-08-2008 » |
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Now I'm all upset. I own a beach cafe near Margate, and someone just referred to it as 'crummy' on a public message board.
You have to understand, sir, that "crummy" is a term of endearment when it comes to beach cafés. It is scarcely imaginable that one would speak in approving terms about a "luxurious beach café in Margate", were such a thing to exist. A's recommendation is going to make you a rich fragment. |
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marbleflugel
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« Reply #1083 on: 21:36:31, 29-08-2008 » |
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A,I tried to post these for you early this morning but by dongle denie'd. Itstrikes meyoumight find you're dealing with inter-connectedteacherly and maternal/ relationship burnout. like grief,it can strike post hoc at the oddest times. http://thoreau.eserver.org/walden00.htmlfull text online of henry thoreau's walden,where he doesan extended versionof your day in margate and retrenches against a world pre-21st centurily out of kilter. http://g.o.r.i.l.l.a./dphomescreens/dpscreens.htm (hope 2ndone's correct,i'llreviseif need be) denispostle's 'letting the heart sing 'cd-rom is very good for workers with people who find they need to heal themselves a bit. good luck with the steady climb-you'llknow we're with you all the way. |
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« Last Edit: 21:50:24, 29-08-2008 by marbleflugel »
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'...A celebrity is someone who didn't get the attention they needed as an adult'
Arnold Brown
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« Reply #1084 on: 22:11:45, 29-08-2008 » |
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Now I'm all upset. I own a beach cafe near Margate, and someone just referred to it as 'crummy' on a public message board.   Glad you're feeling a bit better A, or at least a bit more optimistic. No, no, I didn't really mean it like that!!! it was because it was 'ordinary' food... fish and chips etc, not posh Italian... it was a compliment ... HONEST !! sorry t.f A |
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« Reply #1085 on: 22:12:49, 29-08-2008 » |
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Now I'm all upset. I own a beach cafe near Margate, and someone just referred to it as 'crummy' on a public message board.
You have to understand, sir, that "crummy" is a term of endearment when it comes to beach cafés. It is scarcely imaginable that one would speak in approving terms about a "luxurious beach café in Margate", were such a thing to exist. A's recommendation is going to make you a rich fragment. Thanks Richard, just seen your message, that is exactly what I mean !! A |
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Kittybriton
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« Reply #1086 on: 22:31:07, 09-09-2008 » |
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How do you cope with those days when it becomes unavoidably obvious that all you're doing is more laps on Hamster's Exercise Wheel?
I've got things which might bear fruit in the future, but right now, all I can see is me counting more laps, day after tedious day.
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Click me -> About meor me -> my handmade storeNo, I'm not a complete idiot. I'm only a halfwit. In fact I'm actually a catfish. |
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trained-pianist
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« Reply #1087 on: 22:34:48, 09-09-2008 » |
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It only seems that you are going in circles, but in fact you are climbing up on a spiral. You just don't feel that you are going up because it is very gradual.
You are gaining momentum gradually and before you know you will see that in fact you were learning and improving and achieving.
From where I am you I can see that you are making good steady progress.
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« Last Edit: 22:44:59, 09-09-2008 by trained-pianist »
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martle
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« Reply #1088 on: 22:36:05, 09-09-2008 » |
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Kitty, why don't you tell us about the things which might 'bear fruit'? I'd like to hear about them. |
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Green. Always green.
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thompson1780
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« Reply #1089 on: 22:38:40, 09-09-2008 » |
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I had one of those days today, Mysh. Dull figure work and a detailed investigation of the poo that other people had created through bureaucratic incompetence.
But I stopped thinking about the things I was expecting and just concentrated on the pattern of the figures. Somewhere in the dullness, a small amount of beauty arose.
Look at the wheel at a different scale (at least until the new bigger picture comes into light)
Very best wishes
Tommo
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Made by Thompson & son, at the Violin & c. the West end of St. Paul's Churchyard, LONDON
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richard barrett
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« Reply #1090 on: 22:41:01, 09-09-2008 » |
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Yes. At the risk of sounding trite, that's the way some things have to be done, Kitty. Martle (I assume) and I for example often find ourselves having to plan things on a timescale of years. But what I find helpful (what makes it possible, actually) is to do things in such a way that every so often some little "fruit" can be produced so those long barren times of seeming not to be doing anything are occasionally punctuated by a result or two.
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martle
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« Reply #1091 on: 22:47:35, 09-09-2008 » |
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Prof. Dr. Mr. Member Barrett puts it perfectly. This looks fun, though...  |
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trained-pianist
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« Reply #1092 on: 22:54:33, 09-09-2008 » |
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I like this image.  |
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harmonyharmony
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« Reply #1093 on: 22:54:49, 09-09-2008 » |
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Just to add to what Richard's written, I'm coming to (please God) the end of a rather frustrating period of nullity. Nothing (and it's been very little) that I've written in this period of around 18 months has pleased me. But I can see now that it was necessary. I'm just getting to the point where I'm beginning to write (something approaching) fluently again and I've finished the first piece that I haven't wanted to tear into millions of little shreds. Actually I'm quite looking forward to playing it and rehearsing it with the students. I feel like I have a lot of music now just waiting for the right conditions to be written, and I haven't felt like that for maybe two years. All of that carp that I've been scribbling at and rejecting in the meantime has been important though. It's how I've got to where I am now I think.
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'is this all we can do?' anonymous student of the University of Berkeley, California quoted in H. Draper, 'The new student revolt' (New York: Grove Press, 1965) http://www.myspace.com/itensemble |
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martle
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« Reply #1094 on: 23:01:21, 09-09-2008 » |
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hh, very good. What have I to show for a whole summer's (quite hard) work? Almost nothing. And yet... I've spent a lot of time examining and questioning certain technical things, a process I think and trust will 'bear fruit' in the future. It might not, of course. But fallow periods, when we feel we're treading th mill and little else, are a part of creative life. You could just pack it in, and maybe that's the answer for some people. But I doubt it's true for you, Kitty. I like Keats' phrase for this fallowness: 'negative capability'.  |
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« Last Edit: 23:10:18, 09-09-2008 by martle »
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Green. Always green.
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