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Don Basilio
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« Reply #5415 on: 14:45:21, 09-11-2008 » |
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I would like marriage to be entirely 'divorced' (ahem) from its religious context. It should primarily be a secular, legal affair (IMO) with a further religious element added later on. A bit like birth registration and baptism.
I'm inclined to agree. I wonder whether one reason for the greater incidence of divorce is that people have quite unrealistically high expectations of marriage. When we had our civil partnership ceremony, the registry officer sent us a draft order with sentimental twaddle about "A and B are now starting a whole new wonderful life together." As we had been together for twenty seven years (with no support from my family at least in the beginning and no social expectations) we re-wrote all that so that in the vows we said "I, Don Basilio, sincerely affirm that I have been your partner, Sancho, for more than 27 years, for us it has been for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer etc" We did smuggle in a Biblical reading, which Milly admired a few days ago. We also replaced the recurrent word "love" in most contexts by the words "patience and loyalty." And we and our rings were blessed in the course of a Sunday service a few weeks later. Sorry if that sounds self righteous. |
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh: a time to mourn, and a time to dance
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Mary Chambers
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« Reply #5416 on: 14:54:07, 09-11-2008 » |
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It doesn't sound at all self-righteous, DB. It sounds wonderful. Congratulations.
Patience and loyalty......yes.
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Morticia
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« Reply #5417 on: 15:09:28, 09-11-2008 » |
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Definitely not self-righteous, DB. Those are fine and honest words. And very touching.
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Don Basilio
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« Reply #5418 on: 15:15:14, 09-11-2008 » |
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OK the full text
I, N or M, sincerely affirm that I have been your partner, X or Y, for more than 27 years,
for us it has been for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, and today I now pledge to so continue,
to share the remainder of my life openly with you, whatever befalls, and that with patience and loyalty,
I will continue to cherish and love you, till death part us; and this is my solemn vow.
And at the exchange of rings:
X, I give you this ring for you to wear,
it is a physical sign of my love and faith,
and the promise I have made to you today.
We did use the word "love" twice, didn't we?
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh: a time to mourn, and a time to dance
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Antheil
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« Reply #5419 on: 15:34:11, 09-11-2008 » |
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Oh! That's lovely Don B. And congrats for smuggling in the Biblical reading  Just goes to show what Registrars know! I really admire couples (gay or straight) who have the persistance to really stick at it instead of being a butterfly with constantly burnt wings. |
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Reality, sa molesworth 2, is so sordid it makes me shudder
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Mary Chambers
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« Reply #5420 on: 15:43:14, 09-11-2008 » |
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Just goes to show what Registrars know!
At my son's wedding, the Registrar said, "And now we have a piece called Chopin".  or  , depending on one's mood. Usually . |
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Don Basilio
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« Reply #5421 on: 15:51:59, 09-11-2008 » |
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We had no canned music.
The church blessing was on a Sunday and instead of paying for flowers, we hired three singers to sing the Byrd Three Part Mass. (I've mentioned it before.)
I adapted the blessing from the Church of England's service for blessing a civil wedding:
Blessed are you, O Lord our God,
for you have created joy and gladness,
pleasure and delight, love, peace and fellowship.
Pour out the abundance of your blessing
upon X and Y in their life together.
They have shared in the sacrament of your Son’s body and blood
and taken part in the eternal offering of the Son to the Father.
Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts
and a crown upon their heads.
Bless them in their work and in their companionship;
awake and asleep,
in joy and in sorrow,
in life and in death.
Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that banquet
where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home.
We ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever. Amen
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh: a time to mourn, and a time to dance
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brassbandmaestro
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« Reply #5422 on: 16:01:13, 09-11-2008 » |
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Let's see if my memory serves me correctly.
To begin we had Black Dyke Band playing the Widor Toccata; signing the register we had The YBS Band playing For the Love of a Princess and Priere from Suite Gothtique(Leon Boellmann), played by Dyke; had the Fugue in Eb, played by Peter Hurford. Not a bad line up! Perhaps I should have had Elsa's Procession to the Minster. Perhaps I did, cant remember!
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Antheil
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« Reply #5423 on: 16:23:46, 09-11-2008 » |
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Don Basilio
Is it that apart from loving each other you each love the Holy Trinity that makes/cements your relationship?
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Reality, sa molesworth 2, is so sordid it makes me shudder
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Don Basilio
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« Reply #5424 on: 16:34:36, 09-11-2008 » |
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The idea is that as we have both received holy communion together, we are brought closer together.
We are of course in communion with all sorts of other people throughout the world and history by the same act...
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh: a time to mourn, and a time to dance
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Antheil
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« Reply #5425 on: 16:45:17, 09-11-2008 » |
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Whoops, pressed reply before posting. Sorry!
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« Last Edit: 16:47:12, 09-11-2008 by Antheil »
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Reality, sa molesworth 2, is so sordid it makes me shudder
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Don Basilio
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« Reply #5426 on: 16:57:53, 09-11-2008 » |
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I am a bit concerned that what I have said may appear as a smug married to those who aren't or whose relationships have gone wobbly (or violent.)
It is also being superior to all those many planning a big "a special day", as ours pointedly was not. I fear that sometimes concentrating on the special day and the special feelings overlooks the graft and commitment that a relationship brings (as those of you who are parents will know better than I.)
Here is the conclusion of Jane Austen's Emma.
The wedding was very much like other weddings, where the parties have no taste for finery or parade; and Mrs. Elton, from the particulars detailed by her husband, thought it all extremely shabby, and very inferior to her own. - `Very little white satin, very few lace veils; a most pitiful business! - Selina would stare when she heard of it.' - But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union.
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh: a time to mourn, and a time to dance
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Mary Chambers
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« Reply #5427 on: 17:19:46, 09-11-2008 » |
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We had no canned music.
The music at my son's wedding was not canned, DB. It was all played by students of the Royal Academy of Music, and very good they were. |
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Don Basilio
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« Reply #5428 on: 17:24:20, 09-11-2008 » |
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I should have known, Mary. Quite right too.
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh: a time to mourn, and a time to dance
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Ruby2
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« Reply #5429 on: 19:15:42, 09-11-2008 » |
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Oh! That's lovely Don B. And congrats for smuggling in the Biblical reading Just goes to show what Registrars know! I really admire couples (gay or straight) who have the persistance to really stick at it instead of being a butterfly with constantly burnt wings. Oh gosh DB and Anty - this is all very emotional! I was smiling in admiration reading DB's ceremony script (immense congrats DB) but then when I read "instead of being a butterfly with constantly burnt wings" I just burst into tears. Oops! I can only assume that this is partly because I have a fondness for butterflies. Oh and possibly that my life for a while pretty much matched that description... Deep breath..... ....  |
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"Two wrongs don't make a right. But three rights do make a left." - Rohan Candappa
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