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Author Topic: Today's Humorous News Story  (Read 14553 times)
Turfan Fragment
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Formerly known as Chafing Dish


« Reply #450 on: 06:07:26, 29-08-2008 »

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/7585098.stm

Can anyone think of a suitable 6 letter password?

"Bollux"
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Morticia
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« Reply #451 on: 08:27:58, 29-08-2008 »

I can think of a 7 letter one ...
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oliver sudden
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« Reply #452 on: 08:56:41, 29-08-2008 »

Surely "banker" covers it? And how could they possibly object?
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HtoHe
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« Reply #453 on: 10:53:40, 30-08-2008 »

Vasily Petrenko's (and Dmitri Shostakovich's) team, Zenit St Petersburg, beat Man Utd in the European Super Cup last night:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/7584103.stm

I expect that will get VP an extra cheer when he opens the season at Cultureville Phil next month!

This is not really a humorous story - though more sectarian Liverpool fans will see the funny side - but we don't have a sports board so I thought I'd post it here.
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MT Wessel
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« Reply #454 on: 15:51:55, 05-09-2008 »

Bank workers locked up in robbery
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/essex/7600387.stm
"Ello,'Ello,'Ello. Looks like it's an inside job" said PC Plod.
 Sad
« Last Edit: 23:10:23, 25-09-2008 by MT Wessel » Logged

lignum crucis arbour scientiae
Milly Jones
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« Reply #455 on: 22:03:32, 05-09-2008 »

It's a bit much when they make you gag on your Coffee Mate!

LONDON (Reuters) - A British MP trekking in Colombia was held at gunpoint in the jungle and forced to eat coffee whitener from a jar in his backpack after soldiers mistook it for cocaine.

Michael Fabricant was on a walking holiday in South America with a friend when they were stopped by a group of gun-toting men in camouflage uniforms.

The soldiers found a container full of coffee whitener in their bags and immediately suspected it was drugs.

"In order to demonstrate that it wasn't cocaine, I had to take a whole pile of it and throw it down my throat," the Conservative member for Lichfield in Staffordshire told BBC television.

"They waited a few minutes to see whether I collapsed or went delirious and said something completely ridiculous like 'Gordon Brown's got a great personality'.

"Because I didn't say anything too weird, they came to the conclusion that it wasn't the case and they let me go."

His explanation for putting powdered whitener in Colombian coffee, regarded as among the best in the world, will be familiar to many Brits abroad.

"You have to be a little bit careful about what you eat," he said.

(Reporting by Peter Griffiths; editing by Steve Addison)

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We pass this way but once.  This is not a rehearsal!
IgnorantRockFan
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« Reply #456 on: 12:28:09, 06-09-2008 »

went delirious and said something completely ridiculous like 'Gordon Brown's got a great personality'.

 Cheesy

I'd vote for him, whoever he is  Cheesy

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Allegro, ma non tanto
perfect wagnerite
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« Reply #457 on: 12:46:12, 06-09-2008 »

Everything you heard about labradors' eating habits is true ...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2008/sep/06/animalwelfare
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At every one of these [classical] concerts in England you will find rows of weary people who are there, not because they really like classical music, but because they think they ought to like it. (Shaw, Don Juan in Hell)
increpatio
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‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮


« Reply #458 on: 20:33:38, 11-09-2008 »

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‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮
perfect wagnerite
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« Reply #459 on: 12:48:02, 20-09-2008 »

Evidence, if any were needed, that nobody does culture wars quite like the French:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article4791195.ece
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At every one of these [classical] concerts in England you will find rows of weary people who are there, not because they really like classical music, but because they think they ought to like it. (Shaw, Don Juan in Hell)
Ron Dough
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« Reply #460 on: 22:40:33, 25-09-2008 »

Particularly for any members with connections to the NMC label:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_7630000/newsid_7635800/7635817.stm
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thompson1780
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« Reply #461 on: 12:45:26, 01-10-2008 »

Have we had the Shane Warne Musical noted anywhere?

The life and times of the Australian spin bowler Shane Warne are being set to music by a comedian who promises to deliver a "Wagnerian tale" of sex, scandal and over-indulgence.

Apparently, he's none too amused.

Ho ho ho

Tommo

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Made by Thompson & son, at the Violin & c. the West end of St. Paul's Churchyard, LONDON
Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #462 on: 01:03:41, 02-10-2008 »

The German TV-Licensing Authority GEZ has pursued poet Friedrich Schiller for monthly payments of €17.03 which it alleges he owes.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/oct/02/germany.theatre

Herr Schiller died more than two centuries ago, and over 100 years before the first working prototypes of television were invented.
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
-  Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
richard barrett
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« Reply #463 on: 01:07:17, 02-10-2008 »

As it happens they are still pursuing me too, a year after I left Germany, though this pales into insignificance.
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pim_derks
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« Reply #464 on: 19:33:40, 02-10-2008 »

"Schiller, who died in 1805, is best known for his poem Ode to Joy."

Is this really Schiller's best known work?
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"People hate anything well made. It gives them a guilty conscience." John Betjeman
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