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The Radio 3 Boards > General Chat > News And Current Affairs > Today's Humorous News Story
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Author Topic: Today's Humorous News Story  (Read 14553 times)
richard barrett
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« Reply #150 on: 12:12:29, 05-10-2007 »
Quote from: George Garnett on 12:05:50, 05-10-2007
We should register the IPR at once!!!"
Grin
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MT Wessel
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« Reply #151 on: 00:53:47, 06-10-2007 »
http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever/pave.htm
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lignum crucis arbour scientiae
MT Wessel
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« Reply #152 on: 14:59:37, 07-10-2007 »
The Daily Wessel 07.10.07.Stop press.

R3ok messageboarders gone into exile!
By our top political expert MT Wessel Junior
Read all about on pages 1,2,3,4,5 etc

Wessel - "What do you think John?"
John W - "Well I'm sick as the proverbial parrot"
Wessel - "Really John, Why is that?"
John W - "I'd like to see them try doing this job"
Wessel - "How do you mean John?"
John W - "Well, It's not really a job"
Wessel - "What is it then?"
John W - "Well it's more a labour of love really...."
Wessel - "Er, thanks John. Unfortunately Chafing Dish and Ian Pace were unavailable for comment ..."

This is  MT Wessel Junior reporting from his squalid little back room

"Er, is this allright Dad?"
"Oh yes. You'll do for me Son"
 
Sad
« Last Edit: 00:43:09, 20-10-2007 by MT Wessel » Logged
lignum crucis arbour scientiae
John W
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« Reply #153 on: 15:09:40, 07-10-2007 »
Thank you MTW, I did enjoy that  Cheesy

It is a reminder that someone(s) have to run this place, read everything, protect posters and protect the purpose of the forum.

John W
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Scott Nelson
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« Reply #154 on: 17:20:05, 07-10-2007 »
Dear Mr Right,

Chill out.

Yours,

Nelson. 
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http://www.myspace.com/scott_1978
opilec
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« Reply #155 on: 10:33:07, 16-11-2007 »
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/7096816.stm
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George Garnett
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« Reply #156 on: 11:09:49, 16-11-2007 »
Aw. The poor little chap's raft, their normal form of transport, must have got waterlogged half way across.

                                 


The BBC report doesn't specify though whether the boat took him on to his destination or back to where he started from. He must have been pretty annoyed if the latter.
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martle
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« Reply #157 on: 12:32:19, 16-11-2007 »
George,  Cheesy

And for those who thought they'd seen everything:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm
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Green. Always green.
George Garnett
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« Reply #158 on: 12:53:49, 16-11-2007 »
Quote from: martle on 12:32:19, 16-11-2007
And for those who thought they'd seen everything:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

Now hang on a bit, BBC, are you sure the chap was 'simulating' sex with his bicycle? 

There's nothing criminal in that surely? Not even enough to end up with a conditional discharge. He was surely having full-blooded, hearty, real bicycle-sex when he was so rudely interrupted. And if they were truly in love that can be very beautiful too.   

What does 'on probation' mean anyway. Stabilisers?
« Last Edit: 12:58:12, 16-11-2007 by George Garnett » Logged
harmonyharmony
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WWW
« Reply #159 on: 12:57:38, 16-11-2007 »
Quote from: martle on 12:32:19, 16-11-2007
George,  Cheesy

And for those who thought they'd seen everything:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

I find that story a bit disturbing. Is it really an offence to simulate sex with an inanimate object?? What if the cleaners had walked in on him having sex with his wife ('wife' selected here as the most socially acceptable sexual partner)? Would that case have gone anywhere near a court? OK, it's a bit bizarre to do it with your bike but it's not really all that offensive when you compare it to a lot of sexual acts you can discover with a simple google. There must be something else to the story than this, surely.

And he's on the sex offender's register for 3 years? Eh?
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'is this all we can do?'
anonymous student of the University of Berkeley, California quoted in H. Draper, 'The new student revolt' (New York: Grove Press, 1965)
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Ron Dough
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WWW
« Reply #160 on: 12:58:37, 16-11-2007 »
I've obviously been misled regarding the phrase 'the village bike' heretofore....

(And does that make him what the Japanese might describe as a 'pedalast'? Depends on the age of the bike, I suppose.)
« Last Edit: 13:00:57, 16-11-2007 by Ron Dough » Logged
Milly Jones
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« Reply #161 on: 13:03:18, 16-11-2007 »
Quote from: George Garnett on 12:53:49, 16-11-2007
Quote from: martle on 12:32:19, 16-11-2007
And for those who thought they'd seen everything:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

Now hang on a bit, BBC, are you sure the chap was 'simulating' sex with his bicycle? 

There's nothing criminal in that surely? Not even enough to end up with a conditional discharge. He was surely having full-blooded, hearty, real bicycle-sex when he was so rudely interrupted. And if they were truly in love that can be very beautiful too.   

What does 'on probation' mean anyway. Stabilisers?

When man and bike are truly in tandem the earth moves!

I'll get me bike clips.

Actually though, even in a hostel, surely what goes on between consenting man and bike in the privacy of their four walls should be ok?  They used a master key to get in and disturb the romantic pair too!  Has he really been put on the Sex Offenders' Register?  I hope the bike has been offered victim support and proper counselling.  No point the legal team only doing half a job there.
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We pass this way but once.  This is not a rehearsal!
George Garnett
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« Reply #162 on: 13:04:21, 16-11-2007 »
Quote from: harmonyharmony on 12:57:38, 16-11-2007
Is it really an offence to simulate sex with an inanimate object?? What if the cleaners had walked in on him having sex with his wife?

It might depend on her degree of animation?
« Last Edit: 13:09:49, 16-11-2007 by George Garnett » Logged
perfect wagnerite
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« Reply #163 on: 13:12:16, 16-11-2007 »
I agree that this is rather disturbing. 

The European Convention on Human Rights states:

Article 8
Right to respect for private and family life

1 Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence.

2 There shall be no interference by a public authority with the exercise of this right except such as is in accordance with the law and is necessary in a democratic society in the interests of national security, public safety or the economic well-being of the country, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, or for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

I'd be interested to know how the Procurator (and the Sherriff) square this with the prosecution of someone who was committing an unorthodox sexual act in private, in particular his being placed on the Sex Offenders' Register.  Where is the evidence that this man is a threat to the public?

(I accept that he may have been in breach of the rules of the hostel, but that's not a criminal matter)
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At every one of these [classical] concerts in England you will find rows of weary people who are there, not because they really like classical music, but because they think they ought to like it. (Shaw, Don Juan in Hell)
George Garnett
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« Reply #164 on: 13:35:39, 16-11-2007 »

« Last Edit: 13:46:37, 16-11-2007 by George Garnett » Logged
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