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Author Topic: Today's Humorous News Story  (Read 14553 times)
Ron Dough
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« Reply #180 on: 09:39:39, 22-11-2007 »

Aw, c'mon guys: give the man a brake!
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #181 on: 11:37:03, 22-11-2007 »

Apparently those fat ridged tyres just do it for some people - if they're after a bit of rough...
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Kittybriton
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Thank you for the music ...


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« Reply #182 on: 13:53:46, 22-11-2007 »

Psst! I got this from Sweden - bloke doing it with a tricycle
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Baz
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« Reply #183 on: 14:18:36, 22-11-2007 »

Quote
Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

There's an idea in there somewhere for a budding avant-garde composer: a new piece called Bicyclic Variations perhaps?

Baz Grin Grin
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thompson1780
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« Reply #184 on: 14:56:32, 22-11-2007 »

Actually it turns out he's not a pervert.  He's just a bit slow-witted.

He got the wrong end of the stick (Shocked) when someone said he needed a ride on a chopper.

Tommo

Elongating puns since 1780

Actually, it's even more innocent.  He was riding his cycle on the first stages of some building foundations.  He was engaging in some Hardcore BMX.

Tommo

Saying "Oh no please let it stop" since 1780
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #185 on: 15:22:23, 22-11-2007 »

I always wondered why it was called bi-cycle.  It's because it's bi innit! Safe.... Wink
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martle
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« Reply #186 on: 15:43:44, 22-11-2007 »

And let's not even think of going here, Milly.

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ahinton
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« Reply #187 on: 18:08:17, 22-11-2007 »

Quote
Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

There's an idea in there somewhere for a budding avant-garde composer: a new piece called Bicyclic Variations perhaps?

Baz Grin Grin
Or maybe Randon Tandem - or perhaps even 11 Studies on a Velocipede (with apologies to Colin Matthews); as long as it isn't Le Tombeau de Chausson...

Best,

Alistair
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Ron Dough
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« Reply #188 on: 18:34:14, 22-11-2007 »

Newsflash!

Now I'm really worried. Does the composer Gerard Schurman know something about Mr Garnett that we don't? One of the movements from his Six Studies of Francis Bacon (Chandos CHAN 9167) is called George and the Bicycle. Great fun it is, too. Roll Eyes
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #189 on: 19:14:50, 22-11-2007 »

Have you  all seen this?  I've just cut and pasted this from my newspage.  I think it was a gross invasion of privacy myself and horrible though the finding might have been - each to their own behind locked doors.

Quote
Bike sex case sparks legal debate 
 
The case has prompted debate and online discussion
The case of a man convicted of simulating sex with his bicycle has sparked a debate about human rights and the privacy of an individual.
Internet message boards have been buzzing with comment about the case of Robert Stewart, 51, from Ayr.

He was reported by cleaners at a hostel who unlocked his door and found him engaged in a sex act with his bike.

Stewart was put on the Sex Offenders' Register, which some posters said was an over-reaction by the sheriff.

Stewart admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex. As well as being put on register for three years, he was put on probation for the same length of time.

More than a million people have read the story on the BBC news website and it has been hotly debated on forums elsewhere.

One contributor asked: "Would they have done the same to a woman with a sex toy?

  This case should not prevent people who want to engage in this sort of activity doing so

John Scott
Human rights expert

"Apart from the fact that the sex toy was manufactured for the purpose, and a bicycle wasn't, I really don't see that the two acts are all that different."

Another blogger said: "I am more disturbed by the sheriff's ruling than the act of having sex with a bike."

Those discussing the case online were also worried about the future implications.

One person wrote: "It's bad news for privacy in the UK because of how a ruling like this could be used to support similar cases in future."

Legal experts said he would have been placed on the Sex Offenders' Register under Section 80 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

This states that a person should be put on the register "if the court determines that there was a significant sexual aspect to the offender's behaviour in committing the offence".

This is not the first legal case involving someone simulating sex with an inanimate object.


In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street
In 2002 the same man was arrested for simulating sex with a traffic cone in front of a crowd of people
Earlier this month, sentence was deferred on teenager Steven Marshall, from Galashiels, who admitted simulating sex on a pavement while drunk.
Human rights lawyer John Scott told the BBC Scotland news website that the case raised important privacy issues.

He said: "It certainly prompts questions about what people can and can't do behind closed doors with inanimate objects.

"However, the difficulty is that the man involved in this case pleaded guilty to a breach of the peace so these issues of privacy weren't considered by the court."

He added: "The sheriff had to act on the guilty plea and make a decision about whether or not there was a sexual nature to the offence. Clearly there was and that's why the man has ended up on the register."

However, Mr Scott said it should not be seen as a test case or one that would set a precedent in the future.

"This case should not prevent people who want to engage in this sort of activity doing so.

"What I would say to a client of mine that wanted to do this kind of thing is as long as it's behind a bolted door, with an inanimate object, then each to their own."






 
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Milly Jones
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« Reply #190 on: 19:16:17, 22-11-2007 »

I liked the bits about the men having sex with a shoe and a traffic cone - oh yes and the pavement!  Grin

Dear me!
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #191 on: 20:09:27, 22-11-2007 »

the bits about the men having sex with a shoe

Deriving sexual arousal, and even gratification from footwear has a long, and even noble (?) pedigree. Known as retifism it takes its name from Nicolas-Edme Retif, who was one of the first to address the topic in literary form, and whose wikipedia entry contains some interesting references for further reading - there is an extensive literature on the topic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicolas-Edme_Rétif

Along with shoe-fetishism, Retif is best known for having coined the term "communist" in a pamphlet he authored as an appreciation of the work of de Fuveau's work.
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
-  Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
oliver sudden
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« Reply #192 on: 20:12:47, 22-11-2007 »

In 1997 Robert Watt, 38, was fined £100 for trying to have sex with a shoe in an Edinburgh street

...my emphasis...   Shocked
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Baz
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« Reply #193 on: 20:35:22, 22-11-2007 »

Have you  all seen this?  I've just cut and pasted this from my newspage.  I think it was a gross invasion of privacy myself and horrible though the finding might have been - each to their own behind locked doors.

I must agree with both: a) it was an "invasion of privacy", and b) it was "gross". The perpetrator deserves the following accolade: he must be the very first ever person placed upon the Sexual Offenders register for "having it off" with a bike.

I should, however, like to know what the gender of the bike was! (i.e. was the crossbar straight or curved?). I assume it was the former, and we all know how long it took for the law in Scotland to recognize the rights of "non-straight" people (I seem to remember it took them a further 20 years to accept the principle).

Apart from all that, I can't see much wrong with what he did really!  Grin

Baz
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John W
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« Reply #194 on: 21:13:15, 22-11-2007 »

warning: sexually explicit posting


I haven't read any other related articles/comment but surely the offence was committing this act in a public place? He was living in a hostel, where members of the public (the cleaners) can enter. If he was caught doing it with a bike in a restaurant toilet the same judgement would apply, and indeed would apply if he was having normal sex or normal masturbation in a restaurant toilet.

Hmmm, I suppose the cleaners couldn't report him for having normal sex in his hostel room so I do wonder if charges would have been made if he was found by the cleaners just normally masturbating?

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