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The Radio 3 Boards > General Chat > News And Current Affairs > Today's Humorous News Story
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Author Topic: Today's Humorous News Story  (Read 14553 times)
BobbyZ
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« Reply #225 on: 20:44:47, 13-12-2007 »
Rescue bichons are notoriously greedy. And what is it with all these pigeons flying down chimneys ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7142115.stm
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Dreams, schemes and themes
MT Wessel
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« Reply #226 on: 01:41:50, 29-12-2007 »
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7163660.stm
Oh! Dear Me! Beam Me up Goddy .... Sad
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lignum crucis arbour scientiae
Il Grande Inquisitor
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« Reply #227 on: 01:55:36, 29-12-2007 »
Presumably Nick Kenyon's gong isn't for services to promoting British music at the Proms?!
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Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency
MT Wessel
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« Reply #228 on: 02:11:08, 29-12-2007 »
IGI . Guess which Promenader will be next ? ...  Sad
« Last Edit: 02:12:44, 29-12-2007 by MT Wessel » Logged
lignum crucis arbour scientiae
Milly Jones
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« Reply #229 on: 08:40:01, 29-12-2007 »
She's missed me out!  Again! Pft!  Roll Eyes
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We pass this way but once.  This is not a rehearsal!
Mary Chambers
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« Reply #230 on: 10:27:22, 29-12-2007 »
Never mind, Milly, you can console yourself with knowing that the great musician Kylie Minogue has got an honour. At last music is being taken seriously.
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Jonathan
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Still Lisztening...


WWW
« Reply #231 on: 10:38:53, 29-12-2007 »
How to devalue hundreds of years of the honours system...
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Best regards,
Jonathan
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"as the housefly of destiny collides with the windscreen of fate..."
Kittybriton
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Thank you for the music ...


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« Reply #232 on: 15:22:58, 29-12-2007 »
Oh, I don't know. Her agent probably paid quite a bit for that... Embarrassed
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or me ->my handmade store
No, I'm not a complete idiot. I'm only a halfwit. In fact I'm actually a catfish.
opilec
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« Reply #233 on: 21:00:51, 02-01-2008 »
Under the headline "Snow flurries forecast across UK"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7167475.stm
Auntie (or should that be Nanny?) Beeb publishes the following advice:

ADVICE FOR DRIVERS
* Carry warm clothing, food, water, boots, de-icer, torch and spade in your car
* Plan your journey before leaving home
* Check the weather forecast
* Check your route for delays
* Source: Highways Agency

Dumb Britain clearly needs all the help it can get. Any more advice people can think of?  For starters, how about:

* Better take a flask too
* And clean underwear, just in case -- you can never be too careful
* You're not going out in that coat, are you? You'll catch your death of cold
* And comb your hair while you're at it
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John W
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« Reply #234 on: 21:12:35, 02-01-2008 »
Quote
ADVICE FOR DRIVERS
* Carry warm ......

Amazing. I lived in Ohio for two years and this sort of advice wasn't given, not needed, it's just sensible what to do. They have temperatures of (minus) -20degC and folks with 4x4s get up early and attach scrapey things onto the front and clear their street and neighbourhood.

Have to admit, though, I did get a damp thumb stuck to a padlock once  Roll Eyes
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opilec
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« Reply #235 on: 21:14:53, 02-01-2008 »
Quote from: John W on 21:12:35, 02-01-2008
I did get a damp thumb stuck to a padlock once  Roll Eyes

John, that sounds like the beginning of a great joke! Cheesy
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John W
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« Reply #236 on: 21:25:07, 02-01-2008 »
Quote from: opilec on 21:14:53, 02-01-2008
Quote from: John W on 21:12:35, 02-01-2008
I did get a damp thumb stuck to a padlock once  Roll Eyes

John, that sounds like the beginning of a great joke! Cheesy

Indeed, but wasn't a joke at the time. I had to use my other hand to warm the thumb while in fear that the other hand would freeze  Shocked

I remember once sheltering under a highway bridge while 3 inch hailstones fell. That was in Denver, Co. Next morning it was quite funny looking at all the cars in the traffic gridlock with badly hammered hoods!

Oh look, I'm getting all-American again   Roll Eyes
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oliver sudden
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« Reply #237 on: 00:07:20, 03-01-2008 »
I was in Sydney in 1999 when there was a quite enormous hailstorm - stones the size of grapefruit. Saw this weird kind of apocalyptic boiling lightning-flash thing going on high in the clouds on the way home, didn't think about it until after dinner when I thought to myself gosh, Oxford St's going off tonight, if I didn't know better I'd swear that was hail but it's much too loud.

(looks out window)

Oh my goodness.

There was a cheap corrrugated plastic awning thingy above the windows and the stones were smashing bits off it. After a little while it was kind of 'forward shields are down, Captain'. I then opened as many windows as would open. The ones that wouldn't open were opened from the outside but not by me. I was picking bits of them out of my feet for weeks.

You could see for years afterwards which cars had been in Darlinghurst that night. Apparently there were some people whose cars hadn't been but who nonetheless tried to score themselves new ones by making simulated hail pockmarks with golf balls in socks. They were found out. No idea how.
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Reiner Torheit
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« Reply #238 on: 04:09:19, 03-01-2008 »
I've dined-out here at my end of Europe on this kind of thing from the BBC in the past - "What, really?  The BBC has special announcements with advice for drivers when the mercury hits -5C??"  [sound of Siberian thighs being slapped in ribald mirth]

However, this latest stuff from the Highways Agency will certainly be doing the rounds of my email circuit of acquaintances, and thank you for it, Opi Smiley

I wonder if the Highways Agency have any useful hints for my Music Festival chums in Krasnoyarsk, where tomorrow's forecast is for -31C - a bit warm for the time of year, as they'd usually be expecting -40C?   Wink
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"I was, for several months, mutely in love with a coloratura soprano, who seemed to me to have wafted straight from Paradise to the stage of the Odessa Opera-House"
-  Leon Trotsky, "My Life"
perfect wagnerite
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« Reply #239 on: 12:54:47, 03-01-2008 »
Can't match Reiner on the numbers, but I do have memories of a former colleague phoning home to Borlange (whose chief claim to fame is as Jussi Bjorling's home town) to inform his son that a temperature of -25C was no excuse for missing school ...
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At every one of these [classical] concerts in England you will find rows of weary people who are there, not because they really like classical music, but because they think they ought to like it. (Shaw, Don Juan in Hell)
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